Things I worry about.

I read "Gone Girl" in about 12 hours.

On my trip to South Carolina, I finished "Bossypants" and had a few hours to read another book had I brought one.

I like to read books cover to cover. I'm not a person who can read for an hour here or there. I have to do it all in one or two sittings.

I have a vacation coming up where I'll be doing mostly nothing. It will be amazing. But...there's always a but.

How many books will I need on this vacation? I'm actually a little stressed out about it. Five books? Six books? Two books?

Then there's the problem of what books to take. I don't want anything heavy (that poor Dan Brown book on my bookshelf is never going to get read because of this). I have some Mitch Album books to take, but those are really easy, quick reads.

The list of books that are contenders at this point:

- The Fault in Our Stars

- The other Gillian Flynn books

- The Opposite of Loneliness by Marina Keegan, the young Yale student who died in a car crash.

- Like I said, there's a couple of Mitch Album books I have that I don't think I've read yet.

Other vacation notes:

• I ordered some shorts online a few weeks ago. They were hugely embarrassing on me and I had to send them back. That left me with exactly zero pairs of shorts to wear on the beach. Yes, I should have thought of this sooner, but I had my mind on other things over the summer.
• In a twist of fate, I went to the mall this week and looked at the clearance rack. Shorts were $8. Score! I bought three pairs. I also have a beach bag (thanks, Ikea!) and a small purse to take.
• I briefly read through an email earlier this week and laughed. It seems as though I'll be flying out of the Atlanta airport. Ha, ha. If you don't remember, me and that airport go way back. (There are often subtle ways in which I know God is paying attention to my life. This is one of those ways.) This time my anxiety will be centered around flying to another country. Oh, anxiety, you funny thing.
• This time around I might relax and have a drink on the plane. I was too scared to last time.
• Speaking of shorts, my legs are embarrassingly white. Sorry, people who have to see them. Luckily, I'll burn in the first 20 seconds on the beach, so I won't have to apologize too much while I'm there. 

How beautiful that blue looks

(This has written a while ago and has been sitting in my blogosphere since. It's about time I publish it.)

I can't say that I'm a baseball fan. I'm not, and I'm not going to pretend to be.

But something special is happening in Kansas. For the first time since 1985 (the year I was born) the Kansas City Royals are in the World Series.

I was watching the Denver Broncos game tonight (this is related, I promise) and Peyton Manning just made his 509th touchdown pass, which surpasses Brett Favre's record.

The announcer said something about this, and I wish I would have written the quote down. He said it's a special time to be a Broncos fan and that people are going to remember this moment for a very long time.

I thought about the Royals when I heard that. Walking around Kansas City, all you see is people in Royals gear. I bought a Kansas City Star, and I have to say, I'm pretty proud of my little fly-over state.

Plus, The Star had some amazing photography, breath-taking layout, and I have to say, that Royal blue looks pretty damn good in print.

I've been to Kansas City a handful of times over the past few years. I never really had a reason to visit before, and instead of going east I always went west instead to Denver.

But, I'll give Kansas City some love. It's a pretty cool place.

Did I mention how beautiful that blue looks in print?

Notes

The first week back from vacation is usually pretty tough. On Monday morning, I had my headphones in, jamming out while working on some weekly tasks.

Somebody walked into my office to talk to me, so I pulled my headphones out. Except, instead of pulling on my headphones I pulled on my earring. I tugged for a few seconds before I realized that my earring was not my headphones.

That was how my week started.

-----

On the topic of stupid things...

In Kansas City we were eating downtown, and one of my friends made the comment that the water in the fountains was a really bright blue color.

We looked in awe. Why the blue water? That's really weird.

I realized last night that the water in the fountains was blue because of the Royals.

Ha, ha. It took me practically a week to figure that out.

I'm an idiot.

-----

On my first road trip last week I discovered a CD that I made in college.

My car is too old to play iThings, and I haven't invested in an iThing updater thingy yet. When I go on long road trips I bust out the CDs (God, I'm showing my age).

This CD I made around 2005, judging by the songs on it. I'm too embarrassed to post the songs on my blog, but listening to it just reiterated how much of a moron I was in college.

You better believe I listened to those songs the whole trip. Haha.

I might not be able to play iThings, but at least my out-dated car is paid off.

Did I ever mention that to anyone?

I finally paid it off!

-----

Speaking of college, earlier this week I hosted an alumni dinner in my hometown. I use the term 'hosted' loosely because I certainly don't have a big fancy pants house to invite people to.

In fact, I don't have much of anything in the way of material possessions, but the small things I do have I'm really thankful for. I have a career. I have potential. I have a degree that I'm using. I have friends in some really cool places and I've done some really interesting things since I graduated.

There were some really successful people there last night. I enjoyed talking with them. I look forward to being that successful myself one day.

I've been wanting to do that for a couple years now. I'm glad I finally crossed that off my to-do list.

---

"I feel like a rabbit when I eat leaves." - My brother talking about the salad I was eating yesterday.

On appreciating things.

I have a backlog of blogs to edit and post, so bear with me in the next few days.

I'm trying to keep up with posts, but I've been busy.

This week I've had meetings and dinners and lunches galore. I can't complain about it, really, but my little introvert mind is kind of tired at this point.

I'm going to use the weekend to nap (and maybe see Gone Girl).

So, here's one of the posts I've been sitting on for a while.

-----

I went out of town last week a couple of times. During one of the trips, I tried to stop in a few places and take in the scenery.

My hometown doesn't have much water, or any water, really, so I stopped by a park and tried to appreciate the beauty of it.

I tried, I really did. I looked at the water, at the people in the park walking around and playing with their kids on the playground.

Then I sneezed.

And then I realized that I hate water and I don't really want to be near it.

I gave up with trying to appreciate the beauty of nature and got back in my car. In the middle of trying to appreciate nature I let a bee into my car. I had to shoo it out with my cell phone. Trying to kill a bee with your phone is not very graceful, if you were wondering.

I'm sure water and waterfalls and nature and walking and hikes are wonderful things. They're not for me, though.

Sneeze, cough, sniffle.

All I see in this photo is me sneezing violently.

Overheard in my casa

Don't you read Yahoo News?
No. Who reads Yahoo News?
What do you read, Fox News?
Do I look like a person who reads Fox News?

-----

From a couple weeks ago:
It'd be cool if the Royals played the Cardinals in the World Series.
That's what happened last time. You don't remember that?
No. I was six months old.

-----

Please don't eat my scarf.
(Baby niece eats said scarf, then makes a really sour face because yarn doesn't taste good.)
Well, I told you not to eat it.

-----

Please don't eat my toes.

-----

You may not eat my finger. I need that.

(Oh, babies.)

That's how you get Ebola.

There are a few things I like about traveling. I love keeping track of interesting quotes people say and I like to people watch, especially in bigger cities.

I spent a wonderful weekend traveling to the other side of the state. I smiled a lot. I laughed a lot. I bought lactose pills so I could eat cheesecake.

I would call that a winning weekend.

Let me tell you about the people watching. I'm of the belief that tights aren't pants, but I gave many mental kudos to the woman who thought glittery tights were pants in Kansas City.

Those tights were cute!

Moving on to the quotes I wrote down on my phone over the weekend:

• That's how you get Ebola.
• Would you put your Ebola baby in an Ebola bag?
• Person 1: I'm the a-hole who Instagrams my food. Me: Um, I already did that. Person 3: Monica's a journalist. She has to be the first one to do everything.
• This is like Costco on crack. (Re: Ikea)
• I just paper cutted myself.
• Can somebody be cheatsydoodles?
• Person 1: Do you wanna be cheatsydoodles? Person 2: I don't think so. Person 3: Guys, did you see this cat?
• Person 1: I don't know what that is. Person 2: It's a barf bag. Person 3: It better not be. I paid $1 for that.
• While walking down the Plaza, seeing a woman wear what appeared to be a flannel shirt and nothing else: "I think she forgot to wear pants." 

And then there's the obligatory "this has to go on your blog" quote.

As always, ask and you shall receive, dudes.

Mountains and mountains of crap at Ikea.

My delicious cheesecake.

At the Movies

I've heard about the Tallgrass Film Festival, but I've never been.

Wednesday night was the start of the festival, and a friend invited me to see the opening movie at The Orpheum in Wichita.

First, what a cool theater.

Second: I can't even describe how amazing the movie is.

It was a documentary about Robert Ebert, half of the Siskel and Ebert duo. I knew of them, and I remember when both of them died, but I had no idea of the history they had.

Roger Ebert worked for the Chicago Sun-Times. Gene Siskel worked for the Chicago Tribune. Both were enemies at first and refused to work with each other.

Over time, something about the two of them clicked. They bickered and cussed at each other in-between takes, but cared deeply for each other. Ebert said of Siskel: "He's an asshole, but he's my asshole."

Ha, ha.

The filmmaker followed Ebert throughout his hospitalizations, and was in the middle of emailing him questions for the film when he died.

Why did someone follow a gravely sick man around with a camera, you ask? Siskel died in 1999 of brain cancer at age 53. Aside from a few family members, no one knew he was sick. Ebert didn't even know, and the film said he was really upset about that.

After Siskel died, Ebert told his wife that if he ever had to go through a health battle, he wanted the world to know about it. He didn't want his problems to be kept a secret.

I cried about 57 times throughout the movie.

Of course I knew they worked for newspapers. I didn't know how long they worked for newspapers, that Ebert was the editor of his college newspaper, and that they both went through newspaper buy-outs and watched the staffs shrink.

(I know a little bit about those topics, too.)

They worried about job security. They both knew they couldn't be profitable on their own. They were always going to need each other to be successful.

In his last years when he could no longer talk, drink or eat, Ebert started a blog. He said something along the lines to the filmmaker: "Some people choose to write a blog. I have to write a blog."

His last blog entry was the day before he died.

I can't believe how powerful the film was. It expressed perfectly how much love they both had for movies and for the written word.

I wish I could have written down all of the wonderful quotes I heard in the movie, but it's not exactly polite to whip your phone out in a dark theater and start typing away.

It was amazing.

I remembered when Ebert could no longer talk or eat, but I couldn't remember why. During the entire film, I kept trying to remember what happened to him. I don't know of a polite way to say this, but I couldn't remember why half of his face was basically missing.

In the film he said that his face was "the new reality."

It took the entire film to get to that part. A large part of his jaw was removed because of cancer. In the movie, he communicated to the filmmaker through voice diction software on his computer.

Someone without half of his face seemed positive and optimistic most of the time.

Wow.

If this is any indication of how amazing the Tallgrass Film Festival is, I definitely need to start going from now on.

Newspapers are quickly dying off and journalists are burning out, trying to hold on to a sinking ship. It's nice to be reminded that it was once a great, admirable profession.

What Siskel and Ebert wrote changed people's lives.

And now I'm getting a little teary-eyed again.

I've interviewed people on their death bed before. (Perhaps that's a story for a blog post later.) I remember being asked by non-journalist friends why in the world journalists do that.

It's so invasive, people say. Why don't you just let people and families in pain have privacy and peace? Why not just leave them alone?

There are many answers to that, I think. The most important answer? Death is a part of life. It's not something that you can avoid, and, really, it's not something that people should pretend never happens.

Also, you don't talk to dying people and their families about death. You talk to them about their life.

Those stories should be told. They have to be told, in my opinion, because those are the most powerful words you'll ever read.

Oh. My. God.

My perfect day off involves coffee, books, and not really getting out of my pajamas.

I took vacation time next week, which means I have a blissful week ahead of me doing absolutely nothing. Well, not technically nothing, as I'm freelancing and have some interviews and phone calls to make.

But for the majority of the week, I'll be doing nothing. And it will be glorious.

On Friday I was at Menards, browsing the book section. I picked up "Gone Girl" and read the description. I've almost bought it before a couple of times. The nail in the coffin, though, was my parents telling me that the movie was the best movie they've seen in a while.

That's enough for me to buy the book. I looked at the price of the book, $8, then saw that the cover of the book has the movie poster on it.

That violates all kind of rules. I can't buy a book with a movie photo on the cover. I put the $8 book back and splurged on the $10 book with the original cover.

When I went to check out, the clerk picked up the book and didn't try to contain her excitement. She asked me if I had seen the movie yet. I said no, because I wanted to read the book first. 

We had a nice, nerdy conversation about books in a store that sells lumber and tools.

That gave me warm fuzzies. 

Anyway, I'm not going to reveal any spoilers. Instead I want to talk about why I love books, the physical things you put into your hands, over reading books on those iThings.

First, I love sharing books. Later today I'm going to give the book to a friend to read. 

You can't exactly share iThings, you know?

I can't explain it. I've tried reading on my iPad but I can't do it. It doesn't feel right.

There's a spot in the book that took my breath away. Literally, when I turned the page, I read the first sentence and gasped.

I read about 10 pages after that, then I went back to the spot and turned the page again.

It took my breath away for a second time.

I don't know how the movie is going to handle that scene, but the book handled it perfectly. For me, you just can't replace the feeling of turning the page of a book and getting shocked at the first sentence you read.

That's about all I have to say. I spent most of yesterday reading. Today, I have to be productive and do laundry, clean my car, and pay my bills.

I really just want to read, though.

#Iam4H

This week is National 4-H Week.

For a number of years, let's say at least 10 years, I was a member of my 4-H club in western Kansas.

I wasn't good at a number of things. I was terrible in the livestock department, but I still had fun every summer showing my animals. Baking was never on my list of life talents, and that often led to arguments at 2 a.m. with my parents and I in a screaming match because I didn't beat my eggs.

Note: I still hate baking to this day and I'm still terrible at it.

4-H taught me what I didn't like about life, but it also taught me some good life lessons.

For background info, let me just say that anytime you deal with livestock, well, it's a lot of work. One summer after my lamb was washed and sheared at the fair, it was ready for the show. My mom came over right before my lamb and I went into the ring, and somebody (not naming names, MOM) spilled nacho cheese on the front side of my lamb.

When the judge came over to me in the ring, he told me I needed to do a better job of washing my lamb. Let's just say that 11-year-old Monica was not happy with that comment, so I opened my mouth and told him what I thought about that.

If I remember history correctly, I got last place at that show. From that lesson I learned that sometimes you just need to keep your mouth shut.

I kept my lamb with a few other lambs at a family friend's house. When it came time to shear them, I figured out that it's a lot more fun to shear the animals myself rather than waiting on the sidelines in the hot sun doing nothing.

Life lesson: Life's more fun if you're actively involved in something.

Photography was always something that I liked and did relatively well in. My best photograph that won grand champion was a photo taken of my dog in my backyard. You don't have to go to exotic places to take good photographs.

There's beauty right in your backyard if you just look for it.

I'm sure 4-H taught me other life lessons. Always beat your eggs, don't wait until the last minute to do something, find reliable people to help you with your life projects, always eat first before a meeting, if you want to get a dog to show in the fair make sure the dog doesn't hate the car ride there first, ect.

Ha, ha.

In my grown up life as a newspaper reporter, I always tried to give 4-H the attention it deserved. I went to greased pig and chicken chases at county fairs, I never complained about covering a rabbit show, and in the weeks leading up to the fair, I always tried to do a big feature on all the work that goes into fair preparations.

Even as an adult, I still got to be around 4-H. For that I'm really thankful.

All in all, I would say that 4-H is a fun and funny experience. I was less active later in high school because school activities and jobs took up extra time, but I definitely think it's a worthwhile experience for kids and families.

Now, it's time for a funny story.

When I first moved back to my hometown in 2011, I went to a small store on Black Friday to get some stuff.

If I remember right, there were 10 or 15 people in the store. I knew them all from 4-H, and a quick shopping trip turned into a great conversation with people I haven't seen in ages. We talked about life updates, job changes, marriages, siblings and kids.

I remember thinking after I left the store that day that I was thankful I moved back here. You can't buy moments like that.

4-H is like a gift that you give yourself and your family. You win awards based on your talents. Your talents are developed over time and that takes patience, dedication, mentoring from others and a great community.

#Iam4H

People are dumb.

Several times over the past few months I've heard my family members say that they believe in the good in people.

Every single time I hear this, I remind them that I have another perspective in life.

I do not believe in the good in people. I think people are stupid.

Not everybody is stupid, I admit. I've met some really fantastic people over the years. Some people are inherently good, morally sound, and are generally pleasant to be around.

But when you factor in things like emotions and tempers and hiding behind a computer, well, let's just say that people are stupid. 

I won't say what is causing me to write about stupid people (it involved making sure a dog was safe over the weekend and being called a dick because of it) (oops, I just wrote about what happened).

Anyway, when I realize that people are stupid my mind always goes back to the first Men in Black movie.

I'm pretty sure it was released when I was in middle school. Even at 12 or 13, I knew people were stupid and mean and that the world wasn't always a pretty place.

I've loved this quote since then.

Edwards: Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.
Kay: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.

Brilliant.

In between taking shots of Mucinex for the self-diagnosed sinus infection I have, I had a chance on Saturday to watch Saturday Night Live.

You guys, the cast completely redeemed itself for last week's terrible episode.

I laughed at almost every single skit.

Here is my favorite skit: http://www.buzzfeed.com/alisonvingiano/snl-the-fault-in-our-ebola#3fgitkd

I don't know what to say, except this is brilliant.

Brilliant.

On change.

It's the little things in life that make me happy.

I got a new keyboard today. It's wireless and a tad bit different from my other keyboard.

Sometimes different is better.

The main difference is that my new keyboard has a smaller delete key. When I go to delete something, my pinky finger has to really stretch to get there.

Yes, I'm aware that this is a first world problem. I'm definitely not complaining, because this new keyboard is kind of amazing.

Anyway, when I go to delete something, my little finger sometimes misses the key. For example, if I type the sentence 'Penny is a good Pugg' and I try to delete the second 'g' it turns out like this: 'Penny is a good Pugg\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'

Ha, ha.

Change is hard sometimes, but change is also good sometimes.

\\\\\\\\\\\!

Another first world problem: Trying to open lip gloss after putting on lotion.

Sigh.

(This was written last night, but I forgot to post it.)

Recap

I love everything about Saturday Night Live.

As you can probably imagine, I was pretty excited to watch it while I was snuggled up with my electric blanket over the weekend. After all, it's the season premiere!

It was both good and bad. The opening skit was lame and the flubbed lines made me want to change the channel.

I'm also getting to a point in my life where I don't know who the hosts are or who the singers are. Note: Who the hell is Weeknd, and why is it spelled like that?

Regardless of that thing he had on his head, I noticed he has a pretty good voice.

Anyway, one of the things I love doing when watching a total train wreck happening on television is to update Twitter constantly. I did this and was not disappointed.

Positive things that came out of the episode:

The skit that mocked a Nicki Minaj song was my favorite. It was hilarious. (More info here: 'SNL' recap: Chris Pratt Raps & Ariana Grande Acts)

A 20-year-old totally stole the show, and that skit was too dirty for me to write about. That kid is going to be good.

There was a skit that was so stupid, I was kind of mad at it for making noise.

Oh, Saturday Night Live. I think it will get better this season.

(On another friendly note: I still love Weekend Update. Colin Jost is adorable.)