Life's burning questions

We were in a store in that sells farm and ranch supplies.

My favorite red-haired 3-year-old noticed a mannequin in the clothing isle. The mannequin was of the bust only.

Red-haired child: Monica, where's her head?

Me: Child, I wonder that myself about a lot of people.

We can't all be heroes

"I wrote this about being the asshole in the relationship toward the end. I guess someone has to be that one. We can't all be heroes."

-Maren Morris

Feelings

I do have some feelings for him. They would be frustration, disappointment, and sometimes with the way he behaves, I even hate him a little bit.

-Nashville

Thanks, dog.

I pay a lot of money to get my blind dog her eye drops.

The other day, The Raven was in a mood and was giving me attitude.

The really expensive eye drops I gave her ended up going up her nose.

Thanks, dog. Thanks.

Sometimes you'll break, and it's okay if you do.

I have this framed and hanging in my office.

I look at the frame every day, but I don't even remember the last time that I read it. 

I took it off my wall today and read it over several times. I think this is the best thing that I've ever written. 

My favorite part: "You might not know that sometimes life doesn't work out. Sometimes you'll break, and it's okay if you do. Before that happens, surround yourself with people who don't mind putting the pieces back together. Sometimes you can't do it yourself."

:)

If we're going to get murdered tonight, don't you think you should shut up, be quiet and play dead?

Me: World, I'm kind of having a bad day today. Can you please cut me some slack?

World: I'm going to make you ugly cry in front of a doctor today and spill water on your pants so it looks like you wet yourself in front of multiple people.

To top that off, I just called 911 because I heard gunshots. The Pugs were up barking and crying, and I'm all like, Pugs, if we're going to get murdered tonight, don't you think you should shut up, be quiet and play dead? Do we really need to draw attention to ourselves right now?

Says the person with this wet spot on her pants.

That's you.

A while ago, I bought the girls some ice cream in town.

Little red-haired girl told me she had to potty, so I took her to the bathroom.

As we were washing our hands, she noticed I took two paper towels instead of one. She asked me why I did that.

Because I'm a rebel, I told her. 

She giggled: "I'm a rebel!"

We went back out to eat our ice cream. She told her Daddy: "I'm a rebel!"

The scene above repeated itself on the Fourth of July. Little red-haired girl noticed, again, that I took two paper towels.

She remembered our conversation from the ice cream store.

"Monica a rebel!"

I'm trying to teach the girls that they don't have to listen to the man. They are free to be rebels, be badasses, and be outsiders. 

I want the girls to know that they can stand up to authority if they feel strongly about something (like me when it comes to my health care). You do not have to fit inside the box in life. You can color outside the lines. Tell the man to shove it and make your own rules.

Later that night, after we ate our ice cream, I told the girls to pick up their toys. 

Little red-haired girl told me no and walked away. My brother didn't hesitate to throw that in my face.

"I thought you were teaching them to be rebels? How's that working out for you?"

SHUT UP.

To quote one of my favorite John McCutcheon songs: You teach kids to be strong and stand up to authority...and then you realize, that's you.

I still stand by my life lesson. 

Stand up to authority, girls. Challenge people, sit at the table, and speak up and defend yourselves to hell and back if you have to in order to get what you want and what you need. 

Just don't challenge me, okay?

You had a bad day.

Every so often, I have a bad colon day.

This is not the same as when I had a bad colon day last year.

Thanks to 17 doctors I've visited along the way, I can manage most of the symptoms by myself through the food that I eat.

Sometimes, like over the weekend, I get a little cocky. I hadn't felt pain in a good month or six weeks, and I decided that I was going to eat meat.

That crappy choice led me to my bed on Saturday afternoon, where I cried myself to sleep.

I know better than to eat meat. I know what it does to my body. I know that I will spend a day or so crying because the pain of my body digesting that food is so bad.

I cried myself to sleep and took a good 5-hour nap on Saturday afternoon. When I woke up, the pain was gone. I was not tired and I was ready to get on with my day and party...only the day was over, so my party ended up with with a grumble of Pugs at 2 a.m.

Whatever.

My new life motto: The only thing strong enough to kick my ass is my own ass.