Asparagus and a bad day.

Before you read this, I have to give you a warning first: This is a story about a few first-world problems that includes some unnecessary whining.

In the end, it doesn't really matter. But I have a blog, and I feel like whining.

The story is really just about asparagus. For those of you in my hometown who had asparagus for Easter, I hope you're happy, because you bought all of it. ALL OF IT.

And my debit card does work now, thanks to the second person I talked to about the problem. The first person was of no help. Sometimes you just have to ignore people and move on to the next person instead of trying to fix stupid.

The story:

All I really wanted on Saturday was asparagus.

I found a really good recipe online for it. A little salt and pepper, butter, garlic and lemon juice makes it super delicious.

So, I set out to buy some.

First, I went to the bank to get some cash. Only, I forgot my pin number and locked my debit card, which prevented me from using it.

It's good that my bank does that. If a thief got my card, I'd like to think the idiot couldn't use it. Except, the idiot that tried to use it and failed was me.

So, that was the first setback. There are good things and bad things about life, I suppose.

What a wonderful way to start this shopping trip.

I didn't need cash or my pin number to buy groceries. I could just use my debit card and run the transaction as credit instead, I thought.

Whatever. It works for me.

At that point, I was really, really annoyed, mostly at myself, but also at everyone else that existed, too.

Three people got on my nerves before I even walked into the first grocery store.

I should have just gone home. It was one of those days.

The first store I went to didn't have asparagus. I grabbed a cart on the way into the store. When I left, I was going to take the cart back and put it up.

Because that's what normal people do, right?

The cart's front wheel locked up at the store's exit. What the hell?

Then the alarms started blaring, and I heard someone behind me say "I'm on my way."

I didn't think she was talking to me. Am I really the reason the alarm is going off? All because I want to put a cart up?

The lady came and scanned the cart's wheel that was locked. Apparently, when you try to walk out of the store with a cart without going through a check out, the wheel locks up.

Think of it as an anti-theft measure.

There are apparently measures put in place all throughout town to prevent people from stealing and being stupid, but those measures aren't Monica-proof. (And for the record, no, I did not steal anything. I didn't even buy anything.)

Here's the thing, though. I was kind of in a bad mood.

I would describe myself as very, very introverted. When you add a bad mood, a tooth that needs to be fixed and hurts a little, plus an alarm blaring in a store with everyone looking at me and wondering what I stole, well, it doesn't make for a very happy Monica.

When you're irritated, everything is irritating.

So, the first store didn't have any asparagus.

The second store only had limp asparagus. It was also a no-go.

I drove past Wal-Mart, but on a Saturday afternoon with my pissed off mood and with a dying nerve (tooth) in my face, I just accepted defeat and went home.

Groceries were not had that day.

The bright side, though, is that I stopped in Wichita at a grocery store yesterday en route to a doctor's appointment.

Guess who finally has asparagus! Beautiful asparagus, actually. I stood in front of the produce section in awe for a second.

There were so many beautiful vegetables! Golden beets! Leeks! And other stuff! I wanted to buy everything.

Shut up and take my money!

(You guys, I went to Wichita and bought vegetables. You know how I know I'm old?)

Sometimes you win and sometimes you don't.

The funnies.

It happens to all of us at some point in our lives.

To my friends who are struggling at this point in life: One day, we're going to look back at all the losers who did this to us and laugh.

One day, it will be one of those short, two-page chapters in the middle of a book. One of those chapters that for whatever reason, exists, but doesn't really affect the plot or the ending all that much.

This was sitting in my blog que for a while -

I laughed several times while listening to this: http://www.stuffmomnevertoldyou.com/podcasts/ghosting/

I wasn't keeping track of quotes when I was listening to the first half, but there are several hidden gems.

Such as (from the second half):

"If you're going to ghost, you better ghost hard. Don't come crawling back."

"To me, if you ghost on someone, and then you come back, that just says that you don't entirely respect that other person, because you left them on the backburner to check out some other options. And when those things fell through, you're like, 'Oh, I have old reliable back here."

Good news.

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday that, surprisingly, went very well.

I've lost 18 pounds since my last visit. 

Everyone asked me what my secret was. I fumbled through the question because I wasn't expecting it.

The truth is, I've gained four or five pounds back recently. I have a bag of candy I've been munching away on. When I was sick with whatever I had for about a month, I didn't exercise at all, not even a little bit.

Oh well. I'm not aiming for perfection here, just a little progress.

I guess I'll call 18 pounds a success for now.

My drama with my pharmacy is now officially over, because my pharmacy is no longer my pharmacy anymore. 

I explained the coupon/prescription savings program problems to my doctor (nurse practitioner, technically).

Yes, she says, pharmacies don't really like it when people use those.

Well, you know, I kind of noticed that. How about we change some medications to something I can actually afford?

It turns out that it's cheaper for me to get my medicine the next town over. One of my medicines got switched to a prescription that's $4 a month. Another got switched to $30 a month.

The $30 a month medicine is a name-brand drug. In my hometown, that medicine is $137 a month and the generic is $67 a month.

Holler!

I'm saving tons of money here. More importantly, I'm saving myself the headache, anxiety and stress that comes with putting up with people who don't want to honor that prescription savings program and/or coupon.

Side rant: The medical office I go to gave me the information about said programs, I didn't specifically ask for it. When I have trouble at the pharmacy, it makes me feel like shit when they don't give me the price they're supposed to.

I'm not asking for a free handout, and I don't expect one. That piece of paper was given to me. Is it really necessary to shame me in front of five other customers for trying to use one of those programs, hometown pharmacy?

(I can't imagine what it's like to buy groceries with an EBT card, and having people notice. People, stop being shitty to each other. Life is hard enough as it is without people's ill-placed comments.)

Anyway, I thought I'd share a bit of good medical news.

I'm getting a tooth checked out next week. That appointment will probably not be as happy as this one. The specialist I go to has only told me once in seven years that I did not need a root canal, and that was because the tooth was toast and needed taken out.

Oh, joy. 

But I do plan on wearing my lucky socks, so we'll see what happens.

In the meantime, let's celebrate the good news in life for a change.

A better way.

I bought my house last May.

That means I'm almost a year into this home ownership thing, where you spend a whole lot of money per month for the luxury of living without shared walls. 

Also, I don't have to hear my upstairs neighbors in their apartment going at it on my lunch break, which I enjoy very much. I like eating sandwiches in peace at noon.

True story. 

While I'm very proud of myself for handling my business on my own, I'm frustrated by several things. 

The way I'm doing things is fine, but I've been wondering recently if there's a better way.

I've been making slow changes, and thinking about more changes.

A change I've been thinking of doing:

• Every month, I argue with the pharmacy I use about the cost of my prescriptions. This takes hours over multiple days, and often leaves me walking out of the pharmacy crying, without medications. 

There has to be a better way to do this. In reading an article online, I came across the fact that a certain big box store in a neighboring town offers discounted medication costs. 

Okay, I thought. I need to check into this.

The antibiotic that I use costs me $85 out of pocket every time I need it. At said big box store, it costs $10. 

The medication that my hometown pharmacy tries to charge me $167 a month for would cost $30 there. 

I haven't switched pharmacies yet. I need to look into and verify prices before I switch. It might involve a doctor's appointment and one medication switch, but I think it would be worth it.

A bonus point would be if the pharmacy would ship me a 3-month supply of the medication and be reliable with their pricing.

I'm all for shopping local, but not if you're being a dick to me on a monthly basis.

I need to research this more, but it seems to be worth it for the peace of mind alone. Plus, time is a really valuable thing. 

• Buying in bulk. 

It costs more money upfront, but it would last longer. This seems to be the way to go. 

• My mouth.

It's stressful knowing that at anytime, anywhere, my mouth can cost me anywhere from $0 to $2,000 at the drop of a hat. 

Also, me breaking off a front tooth is not unheard of, thanks to crunchy things like granola bars.

Shit happens.

(I did buy carrots today, but I cut those fuckers up really, really small. Take that, teeth.)

I'll spare people the horror stories I have, but a minor toothache with me can end up being a root canal. With a doctor's visit in there to get pain medicine, plus a filling, antibiotics, a consultation or two and a fancy pants x-ray, that can easily end up being a $1,500 problem or $1,600 problem, plus travel expenses.

Trust me.

And then there was that time that one root canal ended up being two root canals during the same appointment (I'm a boss like that). 

Sigh.

There has to be a better solution. There has to be a way that I can sleep at night, travel without fear, and eat without anxiety.

My solution: I bought another dental plan that covers major Monica catastrophes at a certain percent, up to a certain amount.

I struggled with this one. Is it worth spending extra on insurance? What if I have a good year, and I don't need any work done?

Yeah, that's not likely to happen.

I made my first payment on that extra dental plan today. I'll sleep a little better tonight, I think. 

• I have a pile of student loans almost paid off. The amount I'll save each month isn't significant for some, but for me, it's groceries for a week or so.

Paying off debt is like giving yourself a raise. 

• Other changes:

I sat down this week and made a budget. I'm not doing bad by any means, but I could be doing a lot better. 

In my first year of home ownership, I've kept my head above water and fixed what needed to be fixed. But mostly, I've just treaded water and not slept well at night, waiting for the next disaster to strike.

Maybe a tooth disaster, maybe a hail storm, maybe a tornado, maybe a car accident that totals my car.

I worry about a lot of things. 

One of my biggest fears in life is being a loser. 

When I run across people I deem a loser, I get scared. Like, really scared, and I start contemplating everything I've done wrong in life and every stupid thing I've ever said, bought, and experienced.

That happened to me this week.

I don't want to end up being a loser in 5, 10, or 20 years. 

I want to always have reliable transportation. 

I want to pay my student loans off.

I want to have enough in savings to go on vacation every once in a while. As in, a real vacation, one with a beach with rum in my hand and a book in the other hand. 

And if I ever do have kids, I want them to have the same things I want for my life. (Having a date first would help, though. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.)

So, there's my life plan summed up in one blog post. 

Here's the tl:dr version: I don't want to be a loser in life and I need to work harder at accomplishing that. 

NPR

I read this story on NPR today: 

Can't Get In To See Your Doctor? Many Patients Turn To Urgent Care

The comments are the best part. 

For example - 

"Patents (sic) are not just specimens to diagnose & treat."

Yes in fact they are. It is often easier to treat an unconscious person than one who won't shut the he ll up and let you work. Frankly I couldn't care less about how you make me feel. I want you to fix me. If I want to feel good then I'll visit a whorehouse or an amusement park or a masseuse when I get out of the hospital.

Coming from a family of sick people at the moment with people who have been in and out of the hospital, that made me laugh.

 The "If I want to feel good then I'll visit a whorehouse" line actually really made my day.

Humble and kind

I'm loving this song.

"Humble And Kind"

You know there's a light that glows by the front door

Don't forget the key's under the mat

Childhood stars shine, always stay humble and kind

Go to church 'cause your momma says to

Visit grandpa every chance that you can

It won't be wasted time

Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door, say please, say thank you

Don't steal, don't cheat, and don't lie

I know you got mountains to climb but

Always stay humble and kind

When the dreams you're dreamin' come to you

When the work you put in is realized

Let yourself feel the pride but

Always stay humble and kind

Don't expect a free ride from no one

Don't hold a grudge or a chip and here's why

Bitterness keeps you from flyin'

Always stay humble and kind

Know the difference between sleeping with someone

And sleeping with someone you love

"I love you" ain't no pick up line so

Always stay humble and kind

Hold the door, say please, say thank you

Don't steal, don't cheat, and don't lie

I know you got mountains to climb but

Always stay humble and kind

When those dreams you're dreamin' come to you

When the work you put in is realized

Let yourself feel the pride but

Always stay humble and kind

When it's hot, eat a root beer popsicle

Shut off the AC and roll the windows down

Let that summer sun shine

Always stay humble and kind

Don't take for granted the love this life gives you

When you get where you're goin

Don't forget turn back around

And help the next one in line

Always stay humble and kind

On civic duties and sickliness

All of my Facebook friends are caucusing today.

I'm very proud of them, and I hope they all take part in the election later this year.

While my friends are doing their noble civic duty, I'm at my house, giving thanks for the fact that I felt well enough today to put pants on.

Jeans, actually.

I've been around sick people all week. What I have is anyone's guess. Maybe a common cold, maybe RSV, maybe the start of bronchitis, maybe an ear infection.

Whatever it's called, it's like the common cold had an affair with satan, complete with wine, candles, and promises of fidelity. Whatever I have is their bastard love child.

Everything requires an insane amount of effort, including breathing. 

So, kudos to everyone taking part in the caucus today.

The only thing I managed to do today was wear pants, and even that was a chore.

Dad advice is usually good advice.

(Note: This was written yesterday. My arm also hurts. A lot.)

I was talking to my Dad last night, in a hospital nonetheless (neither of us were the patients, calm down), and I showed him some impressive cuts and bruises on my arm.

I've been working on the cat pee room in my house. That room is the attic bedroom that I eventually want to turn into a craft room. I tore up the nail strip that held the carpet down over the weekend.

Me and nails don't really mix well together. My arm and one of my knees took one for the team, and are cut up.

This conversation happened in the hospital last night:

Dad: Do you know what happens if you get an infection and you don't get a tetanus shot?

Me: No, actually I don't. What happens?

Dad: I don't know, but it won't be good. Get a tetanus shot.

I sometimes take Dad advice seriously. As he pointed out, even though I've cleaned that room, there's probably still remnants of cat urine and feces everywhere.

Better safe than sorry. I'm getting the shot later this morning.

Dad advice is usually good advice.

The tentative plan for that room, which will probably change, involves painting the walls this weekend and the floor the week after that.

After bruises, blood, and a tetanus shot, maybe that room will be ready for me to use in a couple of weeks.

It's progress!