Life has a funny way of making sure you get to where you need to be.

From Humans of New York: 

Life has a funny way of making sure you get to where you need to be.

--

Not that she's asking for advice or anything, but I would encourage patience and an open mind. The universe isn't always interested in your narrow plan for your enormous life.

--

Get knocked down 8 times, get up 9. It sounds like you think life owes you something b/c you’ve done everything “right.” It doesn’t. Keep plugging, and enjoy this precious gift you’ve been given.

--

Even through all of that the thing that broke her the most was knowing she was dying inside and he couldn't care less. When that love stops being reciprocated it breaks something in you.

--

From one "The Written Arts" kid to another-- someone will pay you for your words some day. You've got a great voice. Keep shouting. Literally and metaphorically.

--

My brother just sent me the text, "Now's the perfect time to punch reality in the balls and have an epic adventure." Maybe (even though it still feels like shite) this is the start of your epic adventure? Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that we all really do need to go punch reality in the balls.

--

My parents taught me there are two things that are never a waste of money: traveling and education. And in many ways, they’re the same thing.

--

"Travel isn't always pretty. It isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that's okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind." -Anthony Bourdain

--

Travel is always worth it. You are experiencing something that no one can buy and, in years to come, are giving yourself an incredibly valuable gift - memories. Also, at 33, you still have time.

--

I had been on online dating sites for years with horrible luck. Not only did I not meet very many good guys, most were insane, perverted or downright scary. The messages I got ranged from boring to sexually explicit to racist rants. Finally, about 4 years ago, I told my friend I was going to delete my profile that night. He said—just keep it one more week, new people join every weekend. I shrugged—alright. Another week. That week I got a message from this Math geek with a love for stand-up comedy and a smile that made me weak in the knees. We met a day later and have been together since. Got married earlier this year. It is important to not lose hope, to stay positive and keep looking—for new connections, friendships, experiences. Don’t let heartbreak or bad experiences let you get bitter.

--



I think my favorite quote from How I Met Your Mother definitely applies to this story: "But never forget that on any day, you can step out the front door and your whole life can change forever. You see, the universe has a plan kids, and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings, and it starts to rain. It's a scary thought but it's also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of the machine constantly working, making sure that you end up exactly where you're supposed to be, exactly when you're supposed to be there. The right place at the right time."

Monsters

I know a song called Monsters. It goes something like -

Anymore when a restless feeling keeps me up at night
Falling on my knees is my new turning on the light
I keep my faith in tact, make sure my prayers are said
Cause I've learned that the monsters ain't the ones beneath the bed
I've learned that the monsters ain't underneath the bed

Always.

The 10-year challenge is popular on Facebook right now. 

For this blog post, I'm going to focus on the 5-year challenge. Check out those little baby fingers in the picture below! 

My awesomely adorable and amazingly smart nieces were born on January 27. They celebrated their fifth birthday yesterday.

They were tiny little things and I fell in love with them the second I laid eyes on them in the hospital.

I was prepared for cuteness before they were born, don't get me wrong. But I've never experienced that kind of love before. This kind of love is intense. It makes you protect them from monsters, punch ghosts in the face and tell the deepest darkest secrets to (K's biggest secret? "I love Daddy."). 

This thing we're doing here is for life, kids. 

I will always punch ghosts for you and hold you if there's a monster nearby. 

Always. 

Thanks, child.

A life observation from my brilliant and beautiful niece:

"Aunt Monica, your neck is squishy like Grandma's. You're getting old."

- My favorite little redhead

Thanks, child.

:)

-----

My favorite twins are turning five this weekend. The big five! One whole hand!

They're a pretty big deal.

Small child, large Christmas present.

Because that's life sometimes.

I had this grand plan to write a series of blog posts about how amazing my weekend was.

But then on Saturday night, right as the clock struck midnight, life knocked me down.

I have never gotten sick while traveling, but I can officially knock that one off the bucket list.

 By the way, the only thing that cures a headache caused by the flu is to sit in a scorching hot bathtub with ice on your head.

So that's what I spent most of Sunday doing in a hotel room in Omaha. The headache came back as soon as I left the bathtub, so I just succumbed to life really sucking and spent the day in a dark room with no light or sound.

Because that's life sometimes.

I'm going with old time-tested

They can make cars drive themselves
And prove time-travel ain't crazy as hell
They've even got a pill to make a soft package hard
But as far as we've came
When it comes to love and to blame
And the breaking of a lover's heart
I think we're sorely lacking methods
So I'm going with old time-tested
A jukebox and a bar

One pushes me up the mountain
And one rolls me down the hill
While I sit in a phosphorescent dark
So you can keep your fancy potions
And your incandescent notions
As for me and my barely-beating heart
There's no better prescription
For my broken disposition
Than a jukebox and a bar

We got pinpoint GPS
All you need is an address
But her love is the one thing I can't find
Meanwhile no one has a clue
How to make her memory turn loose
So much for academic minds

One pushes me up the mountain
And one rolls me down the hill
While I sit here in a phosphorescent dark
You can keep your fancy potions
And your incandescent notions
As for me and my barely-beating heart
There's no better prescription
For the human condition
Than a jukebox and a bar

May look like music, booze, and beer
But there's a whole more going on in here
Than a jukebox and a bar

So...

Boss: "You know, Monica, there are better weekends to travel to Nebraska."

Winter Storm Harper

Yes, there are, but Eric Church is there this weekend, so...

Higher wire

I don't why it does but it sure do, don't it, honey?
Being in love with you is as easy as spending money
Keep me higher than the fog, it's a-hidin' my copper line-ups
Yeah, there ain't no landing gear on this big jetliner

Benedictine baby
Chartreuse snake old lady
Appalachia moonshine crazy
Bible belt and a sinner's fire
Love on a higher wire

Brother, it's a mother undercover with a voodoo woman
Roll the dice, bet your life every night, keep the black magic coming
I should run from you like a vampire does from daylight
But I don't know how to quit 'cause I know what addiction tastes like

Benedictine baby
Chartreuse snake old lady
Appalachia moonshine crazy
Bible belt and a sinner's fire
Love on a higher wire

I rode on twenty
Bet on black
Roll them bones
Drink my Jack
Go all in
Call my bluff
And don't nothin' keep me coming back again

My note - I am most excited to hear this song live. :)

Monsters

It's Church week, ya'll.

In honor of that, here are some of my favorite songs.

Monsters

I killed my first monster when I was seven years old
He melted like butter in my bathroom's sixty-watt bulb
Kept a three-cell MagLite from Daddy's workshop drawer
Under my pillow and I'd pull it like a sword

Anymore when a restless feelin' keeps me up at night
Fallin' on my knees is my new turnin' on the light
I keep my faith intact, make sure my prayers are said
'Cause I've learned that the monsters ain't the ones beneath the bed

The wolf hunts a hungry man and the devil a lonely heart
A minefield of bad decisions lay hidin' in the dark
Greed stalks, sickness steals, and pride lays a wicked trap
You can't avoid 'em all, no, you gotta trust me on that

Anymore when a restless feelin' keeps me up at night
Fallin' on my knees is my new turnin' on the light
I keep my faith intact, make sure my prayers are said
'Cause I've learned that the monsters ain't the ones beneath the bed

Daddy, check my closet, leave on the bathroom light
I smile and say "All clear" when I tuck him in for the night
But Daddy, I'm still scared, can I sleep with you instead?
I kneel down beside my little man and I bow my head

Anymore when a restless feelin' keeps me up at night
Fallin' on my knees is my new turnin' on the light
I keep my faith intact, make sure my prayers are said
'Cause I've learned that the monsters ain't the ones beneath the bed
I've learned that the monsters ain't underneath the bed
I've learned that the monsters ain't underneath the bed

Two things.

Two things on this very snowy day.

1. This was my view four years ago today.

This is my view right now.  :(

2. I'm going to Church this week. :)

Failure

“Let failure develop you or define you.”

Big much

Ever since my nieces were little, I’ve told them every time I see them that I love them.

While talking to them today, I asked them if they knew how much I loved them.

“You love us as big as the Christmas tree?”

Why yes, girls, I do.

“All the way around the Christmas tree?”

You betcha, kids.

“Aunt Monica?”

Yep, kid?

“I love you big much.”

Aw, thanks kids. I love you big much, too.

Life is a lot like an overflowing toilet

Humans of New York

2 hrs · 

“I got a Degree In The Written Arts, which is the most pretentious way of saying ‘English’ that my school could think of. Two internships later-- I’m still working at a restaurant. I finally had an actual job interview last week. The website said ‘big marketing firm,’ but the whole office fit in a closet. Then I found out the job was ‘commission only.’ So I’m beginning to doubt that there’s a palpable job market in The Written Arts. And I’m going to be paying off this education for the next ten years. I’m bracing for the worst. I feel like somebody who just realized that global warming is actually a thing. It doesn’t help that my entire apartment is falling apart. Our fridge broke down last week and we lost $120 worth of food. Now my roommates are mad at me because I fumbled the negotiation with our landlord. And to top it all off, my toilet overflowed this morning—with absolutely nothing to deserve it. I just called my Mom for advice. She recommended that I take a walk. I was hoping she’d tell me that the water would go back in the toilet. Either literally or metaphorically.”

--

Comments:

Life is a lot like an overflowing toilet

-

 I, too, hope the water goes back into the toilet, metaphorically for both of us and literally for you.

-

Part of me feels bad and part of me is thrilled you still call mom when in a jam.

-

This is not going to help with this man's immediate problems (damn, that sucks!) but I happen to think English and related majors (say journalism) are the most versatile degrees. The world is filled with people who can't write worth a damn and also can't READ worth a damn. Being able to describe, explain, instruct, paint visual pictures, write headlines, summarize content, understand context of words.... it's KEY to the success of many, many projects. I've worked with hardcore software engineers and coders, graphic designers, non-profit staff, graphic designers, artists and many others who needed help. Hell, I have had a lot of people review their emails for them, if it's something important or they want to check "tone." Even though it's easy to feel very down -- debt, no job, etc. -- it IS a valuable skill that not everyone has.

P.S. Beyond my "job," I am also a fiction writer and editor, with a whole bunch of published books. So even though I am not writing "creative" stuff at my job-job, I still have a major creative outlet.

I loled

From a Facebook group that I'm a part of:

I once got a 4-pack of red bull because of a class action suit. Someone sued red bull for false advertising. Apparently, red bull doesnt actually give you wings?