There are certain things I never thought I'd say out loud.
Among them: Pickles, why are you eating spaghetti?
Pickles, my little black Pug, along with her two Pug buddies and I, made the 400-round trip mile to go home over the weekend.
Pickles celebrated by being the life of the party. She had some spaghetti and birthday cake, loved on my brother's three kids, and snored all the way home.
💛
The twins are in second grade, and their baby sister is in kindergarten.
The following conversation took place between the twins, who turned 8 a few days ago.
L: Do aliens have ears?
K: They literally do.
LITERALLY, aliens have ears? 🤣
I’m sorry I can’t finish this blog post right now, because an 8-year-old just slayed me by using a word that I have a giant girl crush on.
LITERALLY.
Later that night, we had the twins playing Scrabble. K was in the lead, and was really proud of that, until L played a word and got 14 points from it.
K was no longer ahead, and that pissed her off.
K, talking to her twin sister: You have evil glasses. You have evil toes and feet. You have evil glitter on your shirt.
Again, K is slaying me with words right now.
K and I talked about words that rhyme. I spit out the word ‘bed’ and before I could even think, the next poet laureate of the United States started rhyming words.
These kids are the coolest kids I’ve ever met.
Go best friends!
Also, you’d think a writer would be good at Scrabble, but I suck at it.
I spent a riveting 40 minutes on the phone with my parents last night, and what I’m about to share might be my favorite thing I’ve ever written.
I interviewed my parents about concerts they went to, both before and after they met, concerts they took my brother and I go when we were little, the first record they ever bought, and a few other things along the way.
I was thinking of breaking this up into several blog posts, but I like it the way it is. It’s kind of long, messy, skips here and there, and rambles a bit.
It’s a lot like life. It doesn’t make sense at times, but we’re just going to roll with it and see where it goes.
--
The first concert my Mom ever went to was ZZ Top in Hays, Kansas, in 1977.
She went with a “special friend” who, might I add, was not my Dad. (My Dad was at that concert with a buddy of his, though, which was two years before my parents met.)
Me: “Was your ‘special friend’ cute?”
Mom: “Yes. But I won’t give details.”
That was in 1977. My Mom was 19.
The first concert my Dad saw was Barry Manilow, also in Hays, Kansas on October 18, 1975. He was 20.
--
I stopped this portion of the interview to ask a very important question.
If you went to your first concert at 19 and 20 years old, why did you start taking your kids to concerts so young?
I was around six years old when I saw Chris LeDoux. My brother was nine.
It was a question I genuinely want to know the answer to. In my adult life, I think it’s weird that people experience their first concert after high school. That just seems so old to me.
I guess I automatically assume that everyone was raised like I was – going to concerts so young that you’re not even able to form memories of them.
So, Kansas parents, why did you take my brother and I to concerts when we were so young?
My Mom: “What else were we going to do with you?”
Dad: “We tried to sell you, but no one wanted you.”
Those answers are perfect.
Mom: “We took you places.”
Dad: “We wanted you to open your eyes. Look at what you’re doing now. You’re succeeding.”
I don’t know about that, but I’ll take whatever compliment I can get.
 |
| My Mom and I at Church in 2017 in Wichita. My first time seeing him! |
--
Growing up, I remember my Mom being a big country music fan. Dad was more rock. But in my world, Mom was always a country music person.
That was not always the case.
My parents went and saw Ricky Skaggs in Dodge City. According to them, I was about a year old, so let’s say this is around 1986. (They did not take me.)
My Mom said Ricky Skaggs was so good at that show, that she went back and got his autograph after the show.
Ricky Skaggs asked my mom if she was a big country music fan. My Mom said not really.
Ricky Skaggs said to my mom: “Well, I hope I converted you, darling.”
My reaction to hearing that: Wayne Newton’s hitting on Mom!
--
Other concerts my Dad went to when he was a young lad include Chicago, ZZ Top and Neil Sedaka.
My Dad: “There was a band opening for Chicago that no one had ever heard of. It was Charlie Daniel’s Band. I remember seeing them and thinking, ‘Who are these people?!?’”
--
The first concert I ever went to was Chris LeDoux in Dodge City, which is my hometown.
My parents and I scoured the internet, meaning we Googled it for about five minutes, and we could not come up with a date for that concert. However, Western Underground came out in 1991, so it was around then.
I was six years old and I had Western Underground on cassette tape. I carried my little brown and tan tape player with me everywhere, listening to Chris LeDoux. It had a handle on it and looked like a purse.
I loved Chris LeDoux when I was little. This Cowboy’s Hat is still one of my favorite songs.
The thing that hurts my heart and soul is that I don’t remember going to his concert. I was too little. I also don’t remember getting his autograph, but I do have it. He wrote my name on it at a meet and greet.
My Dad did not go to this concert.
According to my Mom, she took my brother and I to a lot of concerts by herself.
“Dad always worked late.”
A woman going to a concert by herself? That sounds familiar.
Bad ass.
(Both of us.)
--
Other interview notes:
Faith Hill opened for Brooks and Dunn in 1994 in Dodge City. I was apparently at this concert, although I don’t remember it. More on that later.
My brother did not go, and no one really remembers why.
I think that’s hilarious.
Alan Jackson was in 1995 at the Kansas State Fair in Hutchinson. This is the first concert I officially remember going to. I was 10, and I’ll talk on that more later.
--
So, Mom, I said. Before you liked country, what did you listen to?
“The Monkeys.”
It was the first vinyl she ever bought.
According to my Dad, back then (I didn’t ask what years ‘then’ was), there was only one FM radio station, and it was top 40s pop. If you wanted to listen to something else, your friends would tell you about “a good record – you ought to go get it.”
--
The first record my Dad ever bought was The Rolling Stones.
Dad: “There was a contest on who was the best: The Beatles, The Monkeys, or The Rolling Stones. There’d be long arguments about that.”
This was in the 1960s.
--
There was no record store in Dodge City back in the day. My parents bought records through Columbia Record Club, a subscription service from which they bought 9-10 records a year out of Terra Haute, Indiana.
Please note that Dodge City, Kansas, is a 2.5 hour drive from Wichita, the nearest major city. Dodge City is literally in the middle of nowhere.
Mom: “That was the only way to get records, through the mail.”
Also, Gibson’s (a department store) had records. There was no Walmart in 1981, when my parents got married, according to them.
Mom: “You had to be part of a record club or go to Wichita. After that, it was 8-tracks, cassettes and CDs.”
And then Hastings opened in the early 80s. They had records.
Dad: “It was a big deal with Hastings opened up. It was like when Blockbuster opened up. It was a big deal.”
(I don’t even know how many times he said “It was a big deal.” It was, evidently, a big deal.)
Also, my Dad was a member of an 8-track club.
Note: I don’t understand the record club thing. According to my Mom, it was like a modern day Boxy Charm, only for music.
You could pick your LP, but if you didn’t send your card in, then you got one that was a ‘record of the month’ that the club picked for you.
Mom: “That was the only way to get records out here.”
Me: So they sent you records through the mail? Like, snail mail?
My Mom: “Yes. It’s like what Church does.”
Okay, I get it now. If you bring Eric Church into the mix, then I understand it better.
--
Okay, parents. What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?
My Dad says Brooks and Dunn in 1994.
Dad: “I had a freaking blast at that concert. What got me is that it was in Dodge City, Kansas. It sounded like they were playing in a freaking studio. They didn’t miss a beat.”
Mom: “You were drunk.”
Dad: “I remember being drunk. They had it goin’ on. They were freaking great. When you see them in an outdoor setting and they sound like they’re in the studio, they just got it goin’ on.”
I was at this concert. I was 9 years old and I don’t remember it.
I wish I did.
My opinion: Brooks and Dunn had it goin’ on back then, and they still have it goin’ on now.
Also, when I was in high school, my dad randomly bought me a CD, without me prompting him and not on my birthday or for Christmas. It was the only CD he ever bought me randomly, and for no reason at all.
It was a Brooks and Dunn CD.
--
My Mom’s favorite concert: George Strait in Kansas City in 2001.
My parents sat in the nosebleeds at Arrowhead Stadium under a blanket.
It was the George Strait Country Music Festival, and my parents went without my brother and I. I remember they came back from the concert, told us how great it us, and said that my brother and I needed to see it.
We went to Dallas and saw George Strait (and friends!) at Texas Stadium.
It was Texas, it was in June, and it was hotter than hell out. I bought my best friend a yellow George Strait tank top as a ‘thank you’ gift for watching our family dogs while we were on that trip.
At that concert, I saw two grown ass drunk men head butt each other in broad daylight. I remember seeing blood all over the concrete by the bathrooms.
Welcome to country concerts, teenage Monica. You go to a fight and a concert breaks out.
Dad: “There was enough beer to go around, but there wasn’t enough water. They ran out of water, but not beer. Figure that out.”
Alan Jackson performed on that tour. His set was during the day, and Texas Stadium had a giant cut out in its roof. There was a section of the crowd that sat in the sun all damn day and baked.
We were in that section of the crowd.
My parents said Alan Jackson talked to the people in the sun and asked them if they were warm.
It was so fucking hot that day.
My Mom: “George is great.”
Also my Mom: “Country music was different back then.”
I agree.
--
Between both of my parents, they have about 100 vinyl records.
My Dad apparently built a rack for them in the basement (which I’ve not seen yet.)
He says the records are doing well there.
Mom: “You check on them?”
Dad: “Yeah.”
--
 |
| This is the first picture of Eric Church I ever took. Well...his name, anyway. Wichita 2017 |
A while back, my Dad gave me a Burton Cummings vinyl album, and held it side by side to an Eric Church record. Both albums are…basically giant faces of men with shaggy hair.
As my Dad calls my favorite artist: “What’s his name?”
Just wait until next month, Dad, when you go to Church for the first time. Just wait. You just won’t be the same person after that.
It changes you.
--
I treated interviewing my parents like a real interview, because it was a real interview. It’s an interview for a story that I’m writing.
(My college degree is in journalism, and I was a newspaper reporter for many years during high school, college, and the start of my professional life. I’ve done this whole interviewing and writing thing a few times in my life.)
As with any interview I do, I asked my final question: Is there anything else you’d like to add?
My Dad: “Put that in your country blog.”
For those of you who don’t speak my language: Eric Church has a song called Stick That in Your Country Song.
And that’s how I knew what the title of this post was going to be. It was handed to me on a silver platter by the man who once bought me a Brooks and Dunn CD without me even asking for it.
--
Here are some random concert and music notes from Monicaland.
• My first concert was Chris LeDoux around the age of 6.
• The first concert that I remember is Alan Jackson. I was 10. According to my Mom, I asked why all the women screamed when he “turned around and shook his butt.”
My Mom’s answer: “You’ll understand when you get a little older.”
I get it now. I understand.
Also, I remember standing on the bleachers on my tippy toes to see him.
My Dad had to work in Dallas the next day, so he caught a flight there while my Mom took my brother and I to the concert.
• The first vinyl I ever bought was Eric Church’s Desperate Man.
• The first song on vinyl I ever remember hearing is Hotel California. If I remember right, I got a CD player for Christmas that held five CDs – FIVE CDS – which was pretty groundbreaking in the 1990s.
It had a record player on top of it, so my parents brought some records up from the basement and played them for me.
I still remember that.
• The first CD I ever bought was The Fugees. I still love Killing Me Softly (With His Hands).
• The first check I wrote was also for a CD, and it was Alicia Keys.
--
I don’t know the number of concerts I’ve been to in my life, but it’s quite a few.
My hometown is a rodeo town. Each summer, there’s always a country concert that kicks off the rodeo.
When my brother and I were little, it was a really big deal. I remember my parents driving past the rodeo grounds to show us the semi trucks that brought all of the stage and sound equipment.
After we drove past the rodeo grounds, we would always go find the tour bus, which in a pretty small town in southwest Kansas, was always at the same hotel. The nicest hotel in town.
Also, back then, we didn’t have many hotels in town.
I remember it was a really big deal to see the tour buses in town. We got so excited because that’s where ‘whoever is playing the concert tonight’ is.
It was just so freaking cool.
Also, during my DC trip, one of my Uber drivers dumped me off in the middle of a street by two tour buses by The Anthem.
My life has come full circle.
--
I went to college in and near Wichita, Kansas. My parents came to see me quite a few times, but it was never just to see me.
They had tickets to whatever concert they wanted to go to, and they bought me a ticket so I could tag along.
We saw Gary Allan four times in Wichita this way.
It was also a chance for me to get out of my crappy dorm room and stay in a nice hotel for a couple of nights.
That’s why I liked Gary Allan a lot in college. He brought good news into my life – a concert, my parents to town, a free dinner and usually a free breakfast the day after. And maybe they topped my tank off with gas and bought me some groceries or goodies, too.
College Monica liked Gary Allan a lot.
Grown up Monica still likes him a lot, too.
--
I quizzed my parents on whether I went to Brooks and Dunn with them in 1994. They were adamant that I was there. I was nine years old, I don’t remember it, and my Dad was drunk.
Almost 30 years later, I am slowly starting to realize that the apple does not fall far from the tree.
--
I could talk about concerts and music forever. But as I'm typing this in Microsoft Word, I’m on page 9, so I need to wrap this up.
Here’s a list of concerts I’ve been to in my life. Not dates, locations or years. Just the artists. I think it’s cool to keep a list. This is in no particular order, and this started when my parents took me to a concert when I was six years old.
I have a theory: How you’re raised is how you live.
I think that’s pretty accurate.
My concert list:
• Chris LeDoux
• Brooks and Dunn
• Reba
• Alan Jackson, a few times.
• George Strait
• Eric Church…times 13. Soon to be 16. I have a problem.
• Gary Allan, times 5.
• Lee Ann Womak
• Sara Evans
• Asleep at the Wheel
• Lonestar
• Brad Paisley
• Maren Morris and her husband
• Jake Owen
• Lanco, twice
• Mike Ryan…opened for somebody. Lanco, maybe?
• CJ Solar (opened for Gary Allan)
• Justin Moore
• Jerrod Neimann, twice
• Weird Al Yankovic
• Hanson, times 6
• NSYNC, twice
• Chris Cagle
• Creed
• Gavin Degraw
• The SteelDrivers
• Thomas Rhett
• Brett Eldridge
• Brothers Osborne
• John Michael Montgomery
• STYX
• ZZ Top
• Lynyrd Skynyrd
• Mannheim Steamroller
• A bluegrass festival in college, times three, where I was introduced to John McCutcheon. I love that guy.
I did not save this image, and I’m going to regret this for the rest of my life. Or for the rest of the week, whatever.
I was scrolling through whatever social media platform, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw an image.
It read: If the CDC gives us more mixed signals, I’m going to fall in love with it.
😂
—
Not that that needs any more explanation, but I think it’d be a fun journey through Monicahood if I list all of the red flags that I’ve ignored over the years.
- Mommy issues.
- Getting your mom a Christmas gift and not me.
- ‘I ordered your present but it hasn’t come yet.’ No you didn’t.
- ‘I gave your gift to someone to wrap and she won’t give it back to me.’ 😂
- Ex-girlfriend issues.
- ‘My ex-girlfriend just wants a shoulder to cry on.’ That’s not what she wants to cry on.
- Keeping your phone face down on silent every time we’re together.
- The guy and his mom calling me the wrong name — the same wrong name. Surely that’s a coincidence, right?
- ‘My sister hasn’t liked anyone I’ve ever dated. If she likes you, then you’re the one.’ I hated her. And dude, it’s your job to impress me, not the other way around. Well, it should be your job, not that you ever had a work ethic to begin with.
- Waiting for a response, and being your friend on Facebook, when your other girlfriend tags you in a post where you bought her flowers. Shithead never gave me flowers.
- ‘I’ve never felt like this ever.’ Sir, you were dating me and someone else at the same time. You’re getting that feeling from both of us, so please shut up and stop saying that.
- ‘I’m going through some stuff right now.’ Some stuff = someone else.
- The biggest red flag ever: when their dad treats their mom like shit. Pay attention to whether you want your life to look like that.
- I asked him to delete his dating apps on his iPhone after spending the holidays together and after dating for six months. Shithead says to me: “It’s not that I’m talking to other women on those apps, I’m not. I’m just looking to see who’s out there. I want to know what my options are besides you.” Your mother must be so proud of you.
- Guy in-between the first and second date: ‘I’ve been talking to this other girl, and she’s coming to stay with me for a week. I’m interested in you and I want to get to know you, but I need to see if it goes somewhere with her first. I need to make sure you’re okay with that.’
Thank you, next.
A year later, randomly when I’m minding my own business, the same guy texts me: “I don’t know if you remember me, but we met last year. WYD right now?
Not you.
This is literally how not to treat women 101.
(There was no second date and I didn’t respond to him a year later. I’m not option B, C, D or Z.)
🤣
People ask me why I do things alone
Plan a trip across the country out of the blue
I tell them because I want to, but the truth is
I’m working on myself before I find you
Road trips, airports, layovers and subways
A cute coat for a big city, a glittery shoe
I’m wandering all around the country
to make sure I like myself before I meet you
I’ll do yoga, journal, meditate and write
I’ll buy a house and move on my own
I’ll go to lunch and travel with friends, and if they don’t
want to go, then I’ll do these things alone
I’m working on myself before I find you
I need to make sure I’m good company
I don’t mind standing on my own two feet
before I find someone else to accompany
I’ll park a few block away
from a bookstore in the rain
I’ll people watch on the street
and I’ll wonder about their pain
I’ll spend hours picking out what I want
Thumb through the stacks, getting a feel for what I like
I think books are like relationships
In that no two are ever alike
I’m working on myself before I meet you
Let the rain drops hit my skin before I go inside
I don’t need an umbrella, I don’t run from the bad things in life
I want to feel this and I don’t want to hide
I’m making sure I like myself
I’m cautious of who I trust
I need deep conversations – philosophy, arts, and science
And if I don’t find that, then I need to adjust
I’m working on finding myself before I find you
My patience, my shopping, my sense of wonder
I know you’re out there somewhere – to talk to, lean on
and make love to under the thunder
Rain drops on the roof
Melodic and peaceful
I’ll be able to hear you breathing
Rhythmic and beautiful
I’m working on finding this
But I have to like myself first
My kind of love is instant and pure
and love shouldn’t feel like it’s rehearsed
I’m working on myself
before I meet you
In hopes that someday
Someone will love me, too
Love is patient, love is kind
It does not envy, it does not boast
The kind of love that’s in the Bible
Is what I want the most
If there was a movie from the movie Gods that was tailor made to make me happy, Don't Look Up is that movie.
I watched it three times the weekend it came out, and I'm watching it again right now.
I love news, pop culture, politics, books, space and a lot of other things in life. Don't Look Up is a perfect mix of all of those things.
For the two people in the world who haven't seen it, here's a tl;dr: A comet is heading towards Earth, and Leonardo DiCaprio and Jennifer Lawrence play scientists who try to warn the president. Instead of actually giving a shit, Jonah Hill, the Chief of Staff at the White House, criticizes Jennifer Lawrence for what she's wearing.
People deny the comet's existence. The president sends a nude photo to someone and gets caught. There's an Ariana Grande concert in there. There are more politicians being morons.
Basically, if we rely on politicians to save the world, we're all totally screwed. Earth is totally screwed.
And, there's a George Strait song playing when people finally see the comet in the sky, which is pretty cool in my book.
My favorite parts:
"Easy there, boy with the dragon tattoo."
"He bought a Gutenburg Bible and then lost it."
"May Jesus Christ bless each and every single one of you, especially young members of my own party."
"He's from a different generation."
"We really did have it all, didn't we?"
But my most favorite quote of all: "Thanks for dressing up."
This movie nailed it so hard, it could not nail it more. Because I've lost count of the number of times (in a former job) that I was in a meeting with a powerful man who only commented on my appearance and what I was wearing instead of the thing I was actually talking about.
That is spot on how women are treated in the world.
Thank you, movie Gods, for giving me Don't Look Up.
That's my brand of humor and I love it.
Caveat: I heard Neil deGrasse Tyson speak at SXSW back in the day. I even blogged about it!
My favorite thing he said ever: "I wonder if we're smart enough to figure the universe out. We define ourselves as intelligent. But we're the ones who came up with the test."
Hint: We are not smart enough to figure the universe out. We're pretty stupid.
That didn’t even cross my mind this year.
In the words of my Dad: “Do you know how much your life has sucked this year?”
It was one of those years. It was not a record year for me, but slowly, very very slowly, it’s starting to get better.
I’m glad to see 2021 go. Any year that involves a 5-month stint of homelessness, a health problem that made walking difficult, and another health problem that made breathing difficult that ended in sinus surgery a few days before Christmas, well, guys, a year like that just sucks to live through.
There were good moments of 2021, too, not just sad ones.
It was one of those years where I went from the lowest of lows (literally, New Orleans, which is below sea level) to the highest of highs (Pikes Peak, although I did not make it to the top).
It was a year where I realized that I have a lot in common with 5-year-olds.
My favorite cereal is Lucky Charms. I love space and anything related to dinosaurs, and, what I figured out a few days ago — I still cry when people lie to me.
It is what it is, guys. I can’t fix it.
This is what 2021 taught me: life is full of hurt and laughter and sad tears and happy tears. It’s hard times, tough times, and times so wonderful that I honestly felt like I was living in a fairy tale.
(I might add that the fairy tale moment was in a library, not over a guy, which is pretty fitting for me at this point in my life.)
2021 was vaccinations, concerts coming back, travel, ups and downs and moving and did I mention hard times?!?
Life certainly sucks sometimes, but there are times when it’s so beautiful that I cry out of happiness.
I saw Thomas Jefferson’s books this year. I went to the biggest library in the world. I listened to music, hugged my dogs a little harder when I was away from them during my homelessness, and I learned that there are people in the world who will help you if you just ask.
Here is what I know, three months shy of my 37th birthday:
- People are inherently good.
- Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t go to for advice.
- Don’t base major life decisions around someone you’re not married to.
- Give yourself the same grace you show other people.
- Stop cyber stalking your exes. They don’t give a shit, and neither should you.
- People will lie to your face and won’t feel bad about it.
- People are good, but there are some bad apples in the bunch.
- Pugs are the best dogs ever.
- Do whatever the hell you want to.
