That's how you get Ebola.

There are a few things I like about traveling. I love keeping track of interesting quotes people say and I like to people watch, especially in bigger cities.

I spent a wonderful weekend traveling to the other side of the state. I smiled a lot. I laughed a lot. I bought lactose pills so I could eat cheesecake.

I would call that a winning weekend.

Let me tell you about the people watching. I'm of the belief that tights aren't pants, but I gave many mental kudos to the woman who thought glittery tights were pants in Kansas City.

Those tights were cute!

Moving on to the quotes I wrote down on my phone over the weekend:

• That's how you get Ebola.
• Would you put your Ebola baby in an Ebola bag?
• Person 1: I'm the a-hole who Instagrams my food. Me: Um, I already did that. Person 3: Monica's a journalist. She has to be the first one to do everything.
• This is like Costco on crack. (Re: Ikea)
• I just paper cutted myself.
• Can somebody be cheatsydoodles?
• Person 1: Do you wanna be cheatsydoodles? Person 2: I don't think so. Person 3: Guys, did you see this cat?
• Person 1: I don't know what that is. Person 2: It's a barf bag. Person 3: It better not be. I paid $1 for that.
• While walking down the Plaza, seeing a woman wear what appeared to be a flannel shirt and nothing else: "I think she forgot to wear pants." 

And then there's the obligatory "this has to go on your blog" quote.

As always, ask and you shall receive, dudes.

Mountains and mountains of crap at Ikea.

My delicious cheesecake.