Tornado kisses from Pickles

I've lived in Kansas for all but six months of my life. 

Yesterday was the first time I've ever seen a tornado.

It went something like this:

I was getting ready to shut my brain and my computer down for the day at work. My phone was buzzing with weather warnings for a few minutes, and finally I saw that we were in a tornado warning.

I walked into a co-workers office, and asked if this tornado warning was something we needed to be worried about.

Sometimes, we'll have warnings, even though a tornado is in the same county but moving away from town.

My co-worker looked out her office window: "Oh, do you mean that tornado?"

Why yes, yes I do mean that tornado. And the fact that I can see it means I'm worried about it.

I did what any other normal Kansan would do in that situation - I went outside and looked at it. In the span of a few minutes, the tornado grew in size. (See the photo above vs. the photo below)

As someone else outside pointed out, it was getting bigger and heading straight towards us. 

At that point, I noped out of there, went home, threw my dogs and my purse in the basement, and decided I had enough time to put my car in the garage. 

While I was doing this, I got a frantic phone call from my aunt: "Get your dogs and go to your basement now."

It wasn't so much a request, as it was a warning. My aunt works in the south part of town, just as I do, and she watched the tornado grow just like I did. 

That tornado fizzled out, which made me laugh later in the night. I went from OH MY GOD to dude, let's chill out and watch the rain in a matter of minutes.

It's one thing to go into your basement because of radar indicated rotation; it's quite another thing to go into your basement because you see a tornado coming for your part of town. 

The only thing the tornado did was scare the poop out of my dogs. (Literally.)

Sorry, dogs. I would have left you out longer at noon had I known there would be a tornado at 5 p.m. which would interrupt your afternoon poop break.

We lived. 

Penny's "Seriously, a tornado?" face after we came upstairs.

Tornado kisses from Pickles in the basement.

Because dinosaurs eat apples.

Note: This story was in my blog queue from a few months ago. It made me laugh.

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The twins were at my house, nosing around and looking for stuff to get into.

They grabbed an apple, so I cut it up and put it in a bowl for them.

I asked them why they wanted an apple. I don't think I've ever seen them eat apples before.

Their response: "Because dinosaurs eat apples."

I said okay, and could not find a single reason to fault their logic.

Call me maybe

As you might have noticed, I took some vacation time over the past week.

I wanted to get some pretty cool little girls that I know some snowcones, but I didn't know what time the stand opened.

When I drove past at 2 p.m., it was not open. I figured I'd go to my Mom's house, waste an hour there with the kids, then go get snowcones at 3 p.m.

I explained to a little red-haired child that I was going to get her a treat, but I had to drive past to see if it was open first.

I told her if it was open, I would bring back something pretty tasty and delicious.

Her response, with a hand on her hip: "Well, are you gonna call me when you find out?"

Dude, you're four years old and don't own a phone...

If you're wondering, I got them my favorite flavor, Tutti Fruitti. They loved it and finished it all.

Pugfest!

When I adopted my Penny seven years ago, she decided to chew on a cord that was plugged in.

When I took her to the vet that morning, the doctor told me that Pugs are the only breed of dog who have their own festival.

Pugfest is in Milwaukee every year, he said.

Penny survived eating electricity and is now a grumpy, old, seasoned and experienced Pug. She's the Pug leader at my house.

And ever since that conversation with that veterinarian, I've wanted to go to Pugfest.

A few months ago, a rescue organization I adopted another Pug from sent out a Facebook message, asking for volunteers to help with Pugfest.

Pugfest! Of course I want to go!

I can't even describe how amazing it was.

Things I will note, though:

• My favorite Pug names were Waffles, Toast and Alfredo.

• I asked the names and ages of all the Pugs who came to my part of the booth. Popular names included Luna, Daisy, Lilly, Pugsley, Mugsey, and Duke.

• Petunia was also a cute name.

• The owner of Waffles expressed regret that her Pug didn't meet Toast at the event. I concur.

• People came up to me and told me their Pug has an Instagram account. Because of course he does.

• I did not meet another Penny, Raven or Pickles, which makes me happy. (I also might lurk the /namenerds subreddit and favor unique names.)

• I've never experienced such heaven in my life.

• My goal was to hug all the Pugs. I cuddled, petted and complimented every single one I met.

I remember several conversations I've had with my Mom in the past. Something about when you have kids, you want them to grow up to be independent. You want them to contribute something worthwhile to society.

The money raised at Pugfest goes toward helping Pug rescues.

I hope I contributed some small, small part to a not-for-profit group. I think it was a good use of my time.

The Kansas Pugfest delegation in Milwaukee.

That's a good lookin' Pug.

I waved hi to Chicago as we drove past it.

  

Baby Pug! Notice the crowd around him. 

"My dog has an Instagram account." Of course he does.

Fortune teller Pug at our booth!

He barked at the Pug statues and I laughed.

Do I smell beef jerky?

I would agree with this.

I got Captain America and Thanos! 

You're someone who's passionate and verrrry prepared to defend your values. You're a true idealist, and you always try to see the good in every person and situation. But on your crabbier days, you also have a dark and dangerous side.

Everyone's A Combination Of Two "Infinity War" Characters, And Here's Yours

https://www.buzzfeed.com/anaisbordages/we-cant-all-be-groot?utm_term=.fdrw97dLb&quiz_result=120959518_359721061#120959518

On things breaking

A part that I had replaced on my car six months ago broke the other day.

As a result, I could not shut my car door. 

College did not teach me what to do when your car door will not shut. 

This is a story about how life doesn't always go as planned. This is also a story about how you just have to roll with it sometimes.

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Nine days ago, I bug bombed my house. I cannot hire a big fancy company to bug bomb my house because I just paid a big fancy company to give me teeth.

Priorities, people. 

I spent a whopping $5 on a DIY bug killing kit, and I asked my Dad for some help early(ish) on a Saturday morning.

Killing bugs apparently involves turning off your pilot lights, which for me, means my hot water heater.

For the record, I was told to not mess with the pilot light. Also for the record, I didn't listen.

That night, everything was fine. My bath was hot and my house was bug free.

Life was good. 

On Sunday morning when I woke up, I had no hot water. None, whatsoever, not even an ounce of it. 

I did what any adult woman would do in this situation...I called Dad.

One trip to the store and a lit pilot light later, I had hot water. 

The next day, nadda. I had ice cold water.

Like I whined to my Dad: Why do you need an appliance to heat your water? Hot water heaters are the most inefficient things ever. Why isn't the water just naturally hot? This is the dumbest thing ever to spend money on.

The men in my life gave me that 'you're an idiot' look, and then said something like, Hey, stupid. Water comes from the ground and it's not usually hot when it does that.

Whatever, men. 

I had the privilege of of showering at my Mom and Dad's house that week. Because every adult woman does that, right? 

I bought a new hot water heater and my Dad came over on Saturday to install it. I woke up to my house smelling like gas, and I noped out of there so hard I could not have noped harder. 

I chewed all of my nails off that day. 

You guys, I have a new, shiny, brand-spankin'-new hot water heater. I think he looks like a Frank, so that's officially his name.

He's a sexy beast, that Frank.

tl;dr: I saved $100 by bug bombing my house by myself and then spent almost $500 on a new hot water header. And that part in my car is still broken. 

Some days you're the screw, some days you're the tire.