Frustrated, Incorporated

All of the wallpaper is officially out of my house. 

Huzzah!

While we were working on Saturday night to finish that task up, my Dad played me a love song on my Bose. 

I decided this would be my wedding song. Also, I didn't even know the original version of this song, only the Weird Al cover. Haha.

Misery - Soul Asylum

They say misery loves company
We could start a company and make misery

Frustrated, Incorporated
Well I know just what you need
I might just have the thing
I know what you'd pay to see

Put me out of my misery
I'd do it for you, would you do it for me
We will always be busy making misery

We could build a factory and make misery
We'll create the cure; we made the disease

Frustrated, Incorporated
Frustrated, Incorporated
Well I know just what you need
I might just have the thing
I know what you'd pay to feel

Put me out of my misery
All you suicide kings and you drama queens
Forever after happily, making misery

Did you satisfy your greed, get what you need
Was it only envy, so empty

Frustrated, Incorporated
Frustrated, Incorporated

Frustrated, Incorporated (put me out of my misery)
Frustrated, Incorporated (I'd do it for you, would you do it for me)
Frustrated, Incorporated (forever after happily)
Frustrated, Incorporated (making misery)

At least there's a little bit of sweet in the bitter

I'm always up for some new Eric Church music.

:)

We Were

We were just a couple years short of the age
By my name on a fake ID
And still 'bout a hundred away from the day
Your daddy said you could run with me
We were a couple of line steppers
Who just couldn't wait to step over the line
Never thinkin' we wouldn't last
I was your first and you were mine

And we were leather jackets hangin' onto a Harley
Two heartbeats in the moonlight
(We were) both feet hangin' out over the edge
Of a water tower skyline
At least there's a little bit of sweet in the bitter
Though a part of me is always gonna miss her
I am who I am, I just miss who I was when we were
Mm-mm

We were gonna make it, weren't we, baby?
Had it all laid out in our mind
By the time we knew time was runnin' out
We done run out of time
And we were downtown Saturday night
Last-call cover band
'Til the last song played, never thought we'd fade
Like the stamp on the back of her hand

We were her on my shoulders, lighter in the air
"Pour Some Sugar On Me"
We were top down at Johnson's field
When she whispered that she wants me
At least there's a little bit of sweet in the bitter
Though a part of me is always gonna miss her
I am who I am, I just miss who I was when we were
Mm-mm

And we were leather jackets hangin' onto a Harley
Two heartbeats in the moonlight
(We were) both feet hangin' out over the edge
Of a water tower skyline
At least there's a little bit of sweet in the bitter
Though a part of me is always gonna miss her
I am who I am, I just miss who I was when we were
Mm, yes I do

Friends say, "Oh well, let that ship sail"
"You gotta let go of her"
"Just wasn't meant to be"
But somewhere down deep I still believe
That we were

Yours does.

Each Halloween, the town over from mine hosts Boo at the Zoo.

I went one year with the twins and had a blast. I protected my nieces from scary monsters and I screamed like a little girl when a zombie grabbed my leg.

This year, the zoo sent out a request for volunteers, including one for a photographer.

I am all over that.

A photo pass allowed me to bypass the line with a huge smile on my face the entire time. I saw a ton of baby sharks, Woodys and Buzz Lightyears, and everything in between.

I took a picture of a girl, maybe 10 years old, dressed up like a zombie. She had a plastic knife going through her head and fake blood around it (pretty good make up, I might add).

Her dad had a comment when I was taking her picture: "Girlsname, zombies don't smile."

I gave him a thumbs up.

"Yours does."

I love this event.

:)

The fed up don't give a damn.

I'm a pretty big believer that everything happens for reason.

Right now, though, I'm failing to see a reason why things are happening.

I noticed the other day that I felt weird. Fall is one my favorite seasons, but something has been off this year.

This is the first fall in a while that I haven't been dating anybody.

There are pros and cons to this. When I had to change a light bulb by myself for the first time in a couple of years, I got irrationally angry.

I pulled the ladder out, dropped it, it scraped against the wall and left a mark, and my poor Pugs went running for the hills. They were terrified.

Before, all I had to do was hand a light bulb to the guy standing beside me, and that was the extent of me changing a light bulb.

I went to the chiropractor earlier this week, and she asked about my holiday plans. Are you going to bicker with anyone on how to split your time this year?

I told her that this year, I don't have to do that.

Oh, she said. Oh.

OH.

And then I realized that I'm pretty lucky.

This year on the holidays, I don't have to spend time getting to know people who will disappear from my life shortly after. I don't have to buy extra gifts, I don't have to get to know new people, and I don't have to be on my best behavior.

There are things I miss about being in a relationship, but there are more things that I do not miss.

I do not miss being told that an ex-girlfriend is proud of my boyfriend's new relationship with me. (Thank God I had the ex-girlfriend's approval. I'm not sure how I would live without that.)

I do not miss being told the details of why the ex-girlfriend's ex-boyfriend didn't marry her when he was supposed to. ( I could be at my house playing with my Pugs, and instead we're here discussing your ex-girlfriend imaginary wedding?)

My nieces sometimes bring up relationships to me. They remember the last one and still ask about him.

I tell the little girls that he's a mean butthead. I tell them they aren't ever going to see him again. I tell the girls that the guy they're asking about, the one who played on playgrounds with them, is gone forever. He got lost. He is lost.

Then their 5-year-old logic kicks in.

"If he's lost, why don't we go find him? Let's go drive around. I'll get your keys."

Ha, ha, girls. It's not that easy. He's going to stay lost forever.

"Well, Aunt Monica, what about that other one?"

Ha, ha.

---

I wish this post had a point, but it doesn't. (Maybe the point is that this is my blog and I can whine if I want to.)

I'm sure this is all happening for a reason and I'm sure there's a bigger meaning to life out there, somewhere. Maybe on the other side of the world, even.

I wish there was a reason these relationships happened in the first place. I wish I learned an important life lesson from their demise.

But I didn't. There are no reasons and there are no life lessons to be had, here.

Right now, I'm pissed off that I have to change my own light bulbs and go to coffee shops by myself.

And at this point in my life, I think being mad about those things is perfectly all right.

--

Song of the moment:

The fed up don't give a damn
Bartender, if you're with me
Pour some whiskey on this drowning man

Don't tell me about no beach
No, I don't want to hear about your mountain
How the good life is a peach
You drink your sunsets from a fountain
No, I don't want to think about it
Save your breath, I don't want to hear about it

*I didn't have a picture to use for this post, but I had one of Nashville on my computer that I took back in May. So, Nashville it is.

She's brilliant, just like her aunt.

Once upon a time, there was a little red-haired girl that completely stole my heart. I loved her the minute I set eyes on her the day she was born.

L, now 5 years old, asked me to tell her a secret yesterday. I am fresh out of secrets appropriate to tell a 5-year-old, so I whispered in her ear that I love her.

L's response: "That's not a secret. You tell me you love me all the time and I'm so sick of it."

She's going to be buckets of fun in 10 years.

Her little sister, C, started counting for me yesterday.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, twenty!"

I told her good job. She's brilliant, just like her aunt.

Cheesy, but uplifting.

They whispered to her: "You cannot withstand this storm."

She whispered back: "I am the storm."

Cheesy, but uplifting.

Blind dog

My blind dog loves my parents. Other than feeding her pork when they're dog sitting for me, I've been trying to figure out why she loves them so much and loves being at their house so much.

Last night, I was on the phone with my Mom.

Mom: "When Raven's here, Dad picks her up and holds her. She falls asleep in his lap."

Well, there you go. I think I just found the reason why the blind dogs loves her grandparents so much.

Also, my Dad put a sticker on my blind dog's head and then called her Vision.

:)

I see you have heat. I like heat. - Raven

Weird sentences

I laid in bed last night, thinking about life.

I have a pretty impressive bruise on my leg from the day's shenanigans. I laid awake thinking of the sentence that I could come up with that would best describe how I got that injury.

Here's what I came up with: I have a huge bruise on my leg because I rammed it into a shopping cart while I ran over a porkchop.

I wish I was kidding.

I'm not.

That incident is my second favorite that's happened this year that warrants a weird explanation. A couple of months ago, while I was shaving my legs in the shower, I cut my nose with the razor that I had in my hand.

Don't ask me how it happened, because I have no idea.

I left it alone and it healed nicely. However, explaining to people why I had a wound on my face was kind of an awkward conversation.

Something like: Apparently you need to pay attention to where your face is when there's a sharp object in your hand. Who knew?

Every morning when I put makeup over the scar on my nose, I think about all the weird sentences that I've come up with in my life.

This morning, when it was pouring rain outside: We have a moist Pickles who's probably going to poop in my house today.

Life is wild and crazy.

---

One more note...

Fall weather!