Love's worth living for.

I've been thinking about publishing a list of top moments from the past year and the past decade, which is something you do in the newspaper world.

This blog post is an attempt to do that. Please note that it's not all sunshine and roses. I believe in taking in the good and taking in the bad, and maybe learning from it in the future.

With that out of the way, the decade's top moment for me has to be attending a concert in downtown Nashville, Tennessee, and being front row for one of my favorite songs, Some Of It. (Please see the video I took above.)

I'll remember that moment for the rest of my life, especially the very southern guy who tapped on the shoulder after.

"Ma'am," he said. "It just don't get no better n'that."

I'll never forget the freedom and happiness I felt in Tennessee on that trip. The only thing I wanted at the time was someone beside me, but in that moment, in downtown Nashville under the stars surrounded by 56,000 people, I was perfect and whole and happy and content all by myself.

It's probably not a coincidence that my favorite moments over the past year, and the past decade, are from concerts and music.

I'll never forget hearing "Record Year" for the first time in Wichita. That was the song that I listened to after a relationship that I was in ended. I played that song over and over in my new house, and sang it at the top of my lungs to try to forget about him.

That song saved me.

Fast forward a few years and boyfriends later, and at the end of 2018 when life didn't turn out like I wanted it to, I decided that all I wanted in 2019 was to attend as many concerts as I could.

This year started out with two concerts in Omaha, one of which I missed the encore because watching people make out in front of me caused me to toss my cookies.

Life sucks sometimes.

Also, I love that memory now. There's probably a correlation between telling the wrong person "I love you" and then violently vomiting everywhere afterward.

Oops.

(I'd like to think that the universe, or God, or whoever or whatever, was punishing me in that moment. Like, really? That's the guy you picked? Here are your consequence for making a bad decision, you dumbass.)

(And, driving through a winter storm only to get sick in a hotel room by yourself is pretty romantic, let me tell you.)

I'm not sure what to say about that, only that I'll try to pick a better love interest next time.

Let's also not forget the Hanson concert I went to with my person, which prompted some seriously good quotes.

"I just paid for you to look at Taylor Hanson for two hours."

My response: "Money well spent."

---

Here's the Debbie Downer part.

There's also something to be said about being cheated on, which happened to me twice this decade.

Random bits of dating...advice? Lessons? Whatever word you use, here's what I've learned from men from the past decade:

• Being cheated on for a second time is a lot less devastating than the first time.

• Mean people aren't necessarily liars and liars aren't necessarily mean. I'm not sure which one is worse, though. Probably liars. (Dating life is hard sometimes.)

• I'll never forget walking into my AirBnB on my Nashville trip. I turned a fan on, and when I realized that no one was going to yell at me for it, the heavens opened up and the choir started to sing. At that moment I thought, OH MY GOD I LOVE BEING ALONE.

• A week after being dumped for the first time in 2018, I went to an Eric Church concert in Oklahoma. (I got his autograph during Springsteen!) That has to be my next favorite memory, aside from the Nashville show. That was the universe telling me that if you're brave enough to say goodbye, life with greet you with another hello. Also, me writing about Eric Church stealing my sharpie is one of my top read blog posts of all time.

• One of my best friends told me something when I was whining to her a while back. I was talking about guys who marry the person they cheated on you with, or guys who leave you for someone they ultimately don't end up with. Her response: "Eventually, it doesn't matter."

---

So that's my year and my decade in a nutshell.

There was good times and bad times, laughs around a fire, a tour of the Jack Daniel's Distillery and card games and more laughs.

There was music surrounded by friends and family, and there was music alone. There was music downtown with a love interest and music downtown by myself.

The music downtown by myself was better, I might add.

I'm going to end thishereblogpost, probably my last blog post of this decade, with my favorite quote from my favorite book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven.

"It might seem strange to start a story with an ending. But all endings are also beginnings. You just don't know it at the time."

--

Some Of It - Nashville, Tennessee
May 25, 2019

Some Of It
Eric Church

Beer don't keep
Love's not cheap
And trucks don't wreck themselves
Mama ain't a shrink
Daddy ain't a bank
And God ain't a wishin' well
Money ain't rich
Everybody sins
And nobody wins in a fight
And sometimes wrong gets right

Some of it you learn the hard way
Some of it you read on a page
Some of it comes from heartbreak
Most of it comes with age
And none of it ever comes easy
A bunch of it you maybe can't use
I know I don't probably know what I think I do
But there's somethin' to
Some of it

Girls like to laugh
Tears don't last
And scared's what praying's for
If it's close, swing the bat
Everybody's gotta past
And love's worth living for
When you dance, hold her close
'Til it breaks, go for broke
Be the first to reach for her hand
No you don't get to do some things again

Some of it you learn the hard way
Some of it you read on a page
Some of it comes from heartbreak
Most of it comes with age
And none of it ever comes easy
A bunch of it you maybe can't use
I know I don't probably know what I think I do
But there's somethin' to
Some of it

When you can't take it slow
'Cause time sure won't
What really makes you a man
Is being true to her 'til your glass runs out of sand

Some of it you learn the hard way
Some of it you read on a page
Some of it comes from heartbreak
Most of it comes with age
And none of it ever comes easy
A bunch of it you maybe can't use
I know I don't probably know what I think I do
But there's somethin' to
Some of it
Some of it

Existence is a confusion.

Podcasts

My brother and I were talking about podcasts on Christmas Day, which involved us talking over three or four people.

I told him to listen to Cold and Serial, and briefly explained what each podcast was about.

As he was leaving, he summed up a conversation: "So I'm supposed to listen to cold cereal?"

:)

It doesn't help.

I'm watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix right now, and it's pretty much the best thing that's happened to me this year (besides the concerts I went to).

"See this? What you're doing, being dreamy? It doesn't help. It hurts me. It messes with my head."

"When I met you, I thought I found the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. But you left me. You chose her. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke."

Four year challenge

I got Pickles four years ago this month, and my life hasn't been the same since.

Happy anniversary, Pickles! You turned out to be a pretty good Pickles.

Not a rotten Pickles, not a sour Pickles. Just a pretty good Pickles.

Mermaid

My favorite little redhead and I were looking at Christmas presents at Grandma's house.

Little redhead is working on letters and sight words in kindergarten. She found my gifts and asked me who the name on the gifts were for.

Well, little redhead, what's the first letter on the name tag?

M, she said.

All right, I said. Out of all of the names in the family, whose name starts with an M?

Little redhead thought for a minute. I could see the wheels in her head turning.

"The presents are for a mermaid," little redhead said. She was excited she figured it out.

I didn't have the heart to tell her the presents were for Aunt Monica (me). Grandma and Grandpa most certainly went shopping and bought a mermaid presents instead of their daughter.

:)

A miracle, they are.

Picture three adults, sitting around a fireplace in a beautiful house.

Two of these people work to pay for that beautiful house. The other is just a warm, cozy houseguest who is sitting nearest to the fire and too lazy to get up, go outside in the cold and leave.

I'm that houseguest.

We were talking about small children, the joys of them, how they are a blessing from above in all of their pooping, barfing glory.

Kids are a miracle, I said. (I also did not help clean up the vomit from one of those miracles that had covered the floor about an hour earlier.)

Then we started talking about being outnumbered by children.

Me, single and childless, with a beer sitting by a fire: "I never understood why people put their kids on leashes. Then my brother had kids. Now I know why people put their kids on leashes."

---

I ran into another friend about a week ago, and something she said hit pretty close to home.

After getting out of a bad relationship, she said, she spends every day thankful to be single.

I understand, friend.

That hit me right in the feels.