Oh, Kansas.

I'm back from a short break from blogging.

The break wasn't planned. Life happened, and blogging just kind of took a backseat.

I have a funny story to share, though.

I drove home late last night from Colorado. Pikes Peak says hi, by the way. Anyway, I stopped a few times because I always like to make sure I have enough caffeine to get me through when I'm driving by myself at night.

Actual shirts I saw in northwest Kansas:

• Your girlfriend is rated E for everyone.

• Keep calm and carry guns.

I couldn't decide if I was brave enough to ask the guy wearing the first shirt if I could take his photo. I decided not to, but I really regret that decision now.

Oh, Kansas.

Things I worry about.

I read "Gone Girl" in about 12 hours.

On my trip to South Carolina, I finished "Bossypants" and had a few hours to read another book had I brought one.

I like to read books cover to cover. I'm not a person who can read for an hour here or there. I have to do it all in one or two sittings.

I have a vacation coming up where I'll be doing mostly nothing. It will be amazing. But...there's always a but.

How many books will I need on this vacation? I'm actually a little stressed out about it. Five books? Six books? Two books?

Then there's the problem of what books to take. I don't want anything heavy (that poor Dan Brown book on my bookshelf is never going to get read because of this). I have some Mitch Album books to take, but those are really easy, quick reads.

The list of books that are contenders at this point:

- The Fault in Our Stars

- The other Gillian Flynn books

- The Opposite of Loneliness by Marina Keegan, the young Yale student who died in a car crash.

- Like I said, there's a couple of Mitch Album books I have that I don't think I've read yet.

Other vacation notes:

• I ordered some shorts online a few weeks ago. They were hugely embarrassing on me and I had to send them back. That left me with exactly zero pairs of shorts to wear on the beach. Yes, I should have thought of this sooner, but I had my mind on other things over the summer.
• In a twist of fate, I went to the mall this week and looked at the clearance rack. Shorts were $8. Score! I bought three pairs. I also have a beach bag (thanks, Ikea!) and a small purse to take.
• I briefly read through an email earlier this week and laughed. It seems as though I'll be flying out of the Atlanta airport. Ha, ha. If you don't remember, me and that airport go way back. (There are often subtle ways in which I know God is paying attention to my life. This is one of those ways.) This time my anxiety will be centered around flying to another country. Oh, anxiety, you funny thing.
• This time around I might relax and have a drink on the plane. I was too scared to last time.
• Speaking of shorts, my legs are embarrassingly white. Sorry, people who have to see them. Luckily, I'll burn in the first 20 seconds on the beach, so I won't have to apologize too much while I'm there. 

How beautiful that blue looks

(This has written a while ago and has been sitting in my blogosphere since. It's about time I publish it.)

I can't say that I'm a baseball fan. I'm not, and I'm not going to pretend to be.

But something special is happening in Kansas. For the first time since 1985 (the year I was born) the Kansas City Royals are in the World Series.

I was watching the Denver Broncos game tonight (this is related, I promise) and Peyton Manning just made his 509th touchdown pass, which surpasses Brett Favre's record.

The announcer said something about this, and I wish I would have written the quote down. He said it's a special time to be a Broncos fan and that people are going to remember this moment for a very long time.

I thought about the Royals when I heard that. Walking around Kansas City, all you see is people in Royals gear. I bought a Kansas City Star, and I have to say, I'm pretty proud of my little fly-over state.

Plus, The Star had some amazing photography, breath-taking layout, and I have to say, that Royal blue looks pretty damn good in print.

I've been to Kansas City a handful of times over the past few years. I never really had a reason to visit before, and instead of going east I always went west instead to Denver.

But, I'll give Kansas City some love. It's a pretty cool place.

Did I mention how beautiful that blue looks in print?

Notes

The first week back from vacation is usually pretty tough. On Monday morning, I had my headphones in, jamming out while working on some weekly tasks.

Somebody walked into my office to talk to me, so I pulled my headphones out. Except, instead of pulling on my headphones I pulled on my earring. I tugged for a few seconds before I realized that my earring was not my headphones.

That was how my week started.

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On the topic of stupid things...

In Kansas City we were eating downtown, and one of my friends made the comment that the water in the fountains was a really bright blue color.

We looked in awe. Why the blue water? That's really weird.

I realized last night that the water in the fountains was blue because of the Royals.

Ha, ha. It took me practically a week to figure that out.

I'm an idiot.

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On my first road trip last week I discovered a CD that I made in college.

My car is too old to play iThings, and I haven't invested in an iThing updater thingy yet. When I go on long road trips I bust out the CDs (God, I'm showing my age).

This CD I made around 2005, judging by the songs on it. I'm too embarrassed to post the songs on my blog, but listening to it just reiterated how much of a moron I was in college.

You better believe I listened to those songs the whole trip. Haha.

I might not be able to play iThings, but at least my out-dated car is paid off.

Did I ever mention that to anyone?

I finally paid it off!

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Speaking of college, earlier this week I hosted an alumni dinner in my hometown. I use the term 'hosted' loosely because I certainly don't have a big fancy pants house to invite people to.

In fact, I don't have much of anything in the way of material possessions, but the small things I do have I'm really thankful for. I have a career. I have potential. I have a degree that I'm using. I have friends in some really cool places and I've done some really interesting things since I graduated.

There were some really successful people there last night. I enjoyed talking with them. I look forward to being that successful myself one day.

I've been wanting to do that for a couple years now. I'm glad I finally crossed that off my to-do list.

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"I feel like a rabbit when I eat leaves." - My brother talking about the salad I was eating yesterday.

On appreciating things.

I have a backlog of blogs to edit and post, so bear with me in the next few days.

I'm trying to keep up with posts, but I've been busy.

This week I've had meetings and dinners and lunches galore. I can't complain about it, really, but my little introvert mind is kind of tired at this point.

I'm going to use the weekend to nap (and maybe see Gone Girl).

So, here's one of the posts I've been sitting on for a while.

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I went out of town last week a couple of times. During one of the trips, I tried to stop in a few places and take in the scenery.

My hometown doesn't have much water, or any water, really, so I stopped by a park and tried to appreciate the beauty of it.

I tried, I really did. I looked at the water, at the people in the park walking around and playing with their kids on the playground.

Then I sneezed.

And then I realized that I hate water and I don't really want to be near it.

I gave up with trying to appreciate the beauty of nature and got back in my car. In the middle of trying to appreciate nature I let a bee into my car. I had to shoo it out with my cell phone. Trying to kill a bee with your phone is not very graceful, if you were wondering.

I'm sure water and waterfalls and nature and walking and hikes are wonderful things. They're not for me, though.

Sneeze, cough, sniffle.

All I see in this photo is me sneezing violently.

Overheard in my casa

Don't you read Yahoo News?
No. Who reads Yahoo News?
What do you read, Fox News?
Do I look like a person who reads Fox News?

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From a couple weeks ago:
It'd be cool if the Royals played the Cardinals in the World Series.
That's what happened last time. You don't remember that?
No. I was six months old.

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Please don't eat my scarf.
(Baby niece eats said scarf, then makes a really sour face because yarn doesn't taste good.)
Well, I told you not to eat it.

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Please don't eat my toes.

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You may not eat my finger. I need that.

(Oh, babies.)

That's how you get Ebola.

There are a few things I like about traveling. I love keeping track of interesting quotes people say and I like to people watch, especially in bigger cities.

I spent a wonderful weekend traveling to the other side of the state. I smiled a lot. I laughed a lot. I bought lactose pills so I could eat cheesecake.

I would call that a winning weekend.

Let me tell you about the people watching. I'm of the belief that tights aren't pants, but I gave many mental kudos to the woman who thought glittery tights were pants in Kansas City.

Those tights were cute!

Moving on to the quotes I wrote down on my phone over the weekend:

• That's how you get Ebola.
• Would you put your Ebola baby in an Ebola bag?
• Person 1: I'm the a-hole who Instagrams my food. Me: Um, I already did that. Person 3: Monica's a journalist. She has to be the first one to do everything.
• This is like Costco on crack. (Re: Ikea)
• I just paper cutted myself.
• Can somebody be cheatsydoodles?
• Person 1: Do you wanna be cheatsydoodles? Person 2: I don't think so. Person 3: Guys, did you see this cat?
• Person 1: I don't know what that is. Person 2: It's a barf bag. Person 3: It better not be. I paid $1 for that.
• While walking down the Plaza, seeing a woman wear what appeared to be a flannel shirt and nothing else: "I think she forgot to wear pants." 

And then there's the obligatory "this has to go on your blog" quote.

As always, ask and you shall receive, dudes.

Mountains and mountains of crap at Ikea.

My delicious cheesecake.