Tuesday, August 28, 2018

"Monta, I love your house!"

Highlights from a sleepover with my nieces:



“Aunt Monica, look at my coconut!”
Kid holds up a pinecone on the playground.
Best ðŸ¥¥ ever.

--

“You have freckles because you don’t have cake in your life.”

--

“Aunt Monica, K’s not a doctor anymore.”

(K is 4.)

--

Please note that I have never kept all three kids overnight at my house before. My brother was pretty adamant that none of the kids were coming back to his house that night (ha!), so I was pretty sure that I could handle it. 

I've kept the twins overnight tons of times, but I've never kept the baby overnight before.

Said baby is almost 3, and she's pretty badass.

She walked around my house Saturday night and Sunday morning and looked at my house.

"Monta, I love your house!"

--

Me, 30 minutes after putting the kids to sleep: In order to go to sleep, you need to shut your eyes and your mouths.

K: But she's so funny (pointing to her little sister).

I have no idea what the baby was doing, but apparently she was cracking jokes at bedtime. I have a hard time telling kids to quit giggling, so I sat in my living room and listened to three little girls giggle instead of sleep. 

:)


No personal space.

Trolls need baths, too.

Monday, August 27, 2018

Circa 2014 - This is not a thing I will ever figure out.

For some reason, my mind is taking me back to the blog posts I wrote after attending South By Southwest in Austin in 2014.

So, here's a throwback post.

--

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Geek Central.

I love writing. I love things that make me laugh. When those two things combine, my little mind explodes of The Awesome and I just can't handle it anymore.

That happened to me today.

I got to hear Seth Meyers speak today at SXSW. For a little more than an hour, I basked in the happiness of the conversation that included comedy, writing, failure, the collaborative process, and random other things.

I didn't know what to expect, but I was hoping to hear about his transition from SNL to Late Night. I wasn't disappointed. He did talk about that. But what I wasn't expecting was hearing him speak for an hour on how much he loved writing and how many times he has failed in life.

Background, for those who don't know: Seth was on Saturday Night Live for 12 years before taking over Jimmy Fallon's Late Night (Jimmy Fallon now hosts The Tonight Show. For the record, I'll always like Jimmy Fallon, too, because of his thank-you notes).

I remember watching the last episode of SNL that Seth Meyers was on earlier this year. I remember thinking, "God, it's the end of an era."

I had to wait in line/in the room for a couple of hours to hear him speak. I'm not sorry I did.

Lovingly stolen from the Interwebs.
I didn't write down all of the wonderful quotes he said, I didn't Tweet much, and I didn't even Facebook that much. I sat on the edge of my seat, laughed harder than I've laughed in a long time, and smiled more than I've smiled this year.

Weekend Update has always been my favorite part of SNL. I've always liked Seth Meyers and I always will after hearing him speak.

Some quotes he said:

"When you're young, that's the perfect time to fail."

"This is not a thing I will ever figure out. Perfection is crazy. Improvement is what you want."

"People are like, 'What do you want to do when it's over?' And I'm like, 'Does it ever have to be over?'"

"It's never easy coming up with ideas."

"Giving yourself a deadline is really important."

"My survival will always be as a writer."

Not stolen. I took this photo!
Other things he said:

- An NPR employee asked him what news sources he reads to get material for his show. I was expecting The New York Times and morning talk shows to be his answer. His real answer? Twitter.

- He was hired on SNL as an actor originally, but transitioned into writing. He said he didn't like doing skits, but loved writing skits.

- The last skit he wrote for SNL bombed. He talked about failure quite a bit, which is something I wasn't expecting. I guess everyone fails.

- I can't even explain how funny he is. You can tell he doesn't even have to try. It's just something that's in his personality. He said that even after spending 12 years on the show, there was never one recipe for success. Some things work and some things don't. When they don't, you move on to the next thing that might work and forget about the thing that didn't work.

While waiting in line to hear him speak, we got to see a video of Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson speak to an audience a floor below us.

Um, that was also mind-blowingly amazing.

Background: He's the astrophysicist who demoted Pluto as a planet.

Also stolen from the Interwebs.
What I didn't know: He's so freaking normal it hurts. He doesn't talk down to people who don't understand science and he's willing to explain things in really simple terms.

My Twitter feed exploded with his quotes.

"A scientist is a kid who never grew up."

"If you think the price of college is expensive, try the cost of ignorance."

"This is SXSW Interactive. This is geek central right here."

"You don't want to do an experiment that's longer than your life expectancy..."

"Some lessons need to be learned first-hand."

"There is so much to be impressed with in the universe. Don't be distracted by things that are not impressive."

"One reason we should go into space because you know the dinosaurs would have if they could have."

"Carbon is Jon Stewart's favorite element. It's the slut of the periodic table."

"I wonder if we're smart enough to figure out the universe. We define ourselves as intelligent. But we came up with that test."

"It's the darkest before dawn. No, it's not. It's darkest when the sun is farthest from the horizon."

"Good teachers are first in line for the cloning machine."

"I always tell teachers, be the kind of teacher that teacher was to you."

"Keep letting your kids break stuff. It is a source of curiosity."

"To remain curious is to remain young."

Spooky story.

Little redhead: Aunt Monica, there’s a wolf through that door. 

Me: No, there’s not. The only thing in that door is Aunt Monica’s shoes.


Little redhead: You checked your house for wolves before we came here?


Me: Why yes, I did.


Little redhead: : Thanks!


Best kids ever. 

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Get in this heart like a wheel and baby, let's roll

Stolen from Twitter:

I always thought Eric Church had insane talent but after listening to ‘Heart Like a Wheel’ I firmly believe he is the greatest artist of my generation. 

In every aspect.

---

"Heart Like A Wheel"

She's caviar and mascara
I'm corduroy and leather
It'd take one hell of an imagination
To ever paint us together

Places I like to haunt at
She wouldn't be caught dead
Don't make sense to the neighbors, don't look good on paper
And sure don't make sense in my head

But I got a heart like a wheel, baby, let's go
Get in this heart like a wheel and baby, we'll roll

Can't say there won't be rough patches
Scratches from thorns and briars
Over or under, we'll roll like thunder
As long as there's tread on these tires

I got a heart like a wheel, baby, let's go
Get in this heart like a wheel and baby, let's roll

Ain't no map, ain't no way
Ain't no lights on this long highway
But I know the way by heart
Bring on the dark
Honey, don't worry

Baby, I got a heart like a wheel, baby, let's go
Get in this heart like a wheel and baby, let's roll
I got a heart like a wheel, baby, let's go
Get in this heart like a wheel and baby, we roll
Get in this heart like a wheel and baby, let's go

Lost little Pickle

Last Friday night, I was hanging out in my house and watching tv.

The dogs were outside. They like being outside at night, and they actually bug me if I make them stay inside when I get home from work.

So the fur children were hanging out and being dogs outside.

Around dark, I went to let them in.

The fawn children were outside sleeping by each other. They woke up when I hollered at them, and they both came inside.

But the black fur child did not come inside.

Sometimes she falls asleep in whatever random hole she dug that day, and I have to go around looking for her. I walked all over my backyard looking for Pickles, and my heart sank when I saw that one of my gates was wide open.

OH MY GOD.

I asked the neighbor kids if they had seen my dog, and they said they had not.

I called my Mom in a panic, and then told her to come over right away.

My next order of business was to check Facebook, because that's what you do when dogs get lost.

There was a post that was a minute old. A family had found a cute little black dog by the country club.

Um, the country club is a mile from my house. ONE MILE AWAY.

I left my phone number with the lady and waited for her to call me. Not even a minute later, my cell phone rang.

I dropped everything, grabbed my keys and went to get my dumbass escapee.

Pickles ran away to the right house. When I pulled up and parked across the street, they had given her food and water and were loving on her.

Pickles ran up to me, wagged her tail, and started kissing me.

I thought, dog, if you missed me then why did you run away?

I used to make fun of people who lost their dogs. Now, I have a dog who will bolt out of doors and gates if given the chance and 2 seconds to do it.

I'm extremely lucky that I found her.

Also, my gates now have shiny new locks on them and I check on the fur kids when they're outside without me.

I'm so sorry. I'll never run away again.
Lol jk, I'll totally do it again.


Thursday, August 16, 2018

Dude, you're 2.

Picture this:

Three little girls, their aunt and Grandma are eating snow cones outside when it's about a million degrees out.

We go back to Grandma's, and I pull out my phone to show Grandma videos of Eric Church that I took at the concert last week.

My adorable, brilliant and beautiful 2-year-old niece looks at the video.

"Where Monta?"

Grandma looked at me.

"Monta's right there," Grandma said, as she pointed to a male camera man in my video.

(Monta = Monica in 2-year-old speak)

The 2-year-old doesn't know any better. She bought the story we were selling her.

And then the brilliant 2-year-old had another question.

"Where me?"

Uh, what do you mean, child?

"Where me?" she said, as the pointed to the video of a concert that was in another state that I did not invite her to.

Dude, you're 2. You did not go to the concert with Aunt Monica.

She looks confused and says, "Why not?"

I think I might have a concert buddy in the future.


Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Part 4 - It happens to everyone.

Part four in the Church series is dedicated to all of those times I've watched love walk out of my life.
It happens to everyone.
This song is called Cold One.

I also have a photo from this video framed and sitting on my desk at work.

Man...that was a cold one I never will forget.

I would like to point out that yes, I did take the photos and videos in these posts (unless otherwise noted). Look how close I was!


It was a perfect day for the end of May, they say a record high
I stared at that green water when out of the blue and by surprise
She had her feet up on the cooler as she put our love on ice
She grabbed a beer, said, "I'm out of here, "
And walked out of my life
That was a cold one
I never will get back
Yeah she had to leave, did she have to leave me one beer
Short of a twelve pack?
She left me hanging high and dry in that hell high summer sun
Damn babe, that was a cold one
It ain't the first time, or the last time
I watched love walk out
But it's damn sure the one time
I still ain't forgot about
I still like to drink a beer but a long neck I won't do
'Cause every time I see one sweating, man
I break out in one too
That was a cold one
I never will get back
Yeah she had to leave, did she have to leave me one beer
Short of a twelve pack?
She left me hanging high and dry in that hell high summer sun
Damn babe, that was a cold one
That was a cold one
I never will get back
Yeah she had to leave, did she have to leave me one beer
Short of a twelve pack?
She left me hanging high and dry in that hell high summer sun
Damn babe, that was a cold one
Damn babe, that was a cold one (damn!)

Oklahoma Musings