Introspective

In years past, I’ve done a countdown or a top 10 list of the most exciting things that happened to me, and I’d post it on New Year’s Eve.

That didn’t even cross my mind this year. 

In the words of my Dad: “Do you know how much your life has sucked this year?”

It was one of those years. It was not a record year for me, but slowly, very very slowly, it’s starting to get better.

I’m glad to see 2021 go. Any year that involves a 5-month stint of homelessness, a health problem that made walking difficult, and another health problem that made breathing difficult that ended in sinus surgery a few days before Christmas, well, guys, a year like that just sucks to live through. 

There were good moments of 2021, too, not just sad ones.

It was one of those years where I went from the lowest of lows (literally, New Orleans, which is below sea level) to the highest of highs (Pikes Peak, although I did not make it to the top).

It was a year where I realized that I have a lot in common with 5-year-olds.

My favorite cereal is Lucky Charms. I love space and anything related to dinosaurs, and, what I figured out a few days ago — I still cry when people lie to me.

It is what it is, guys. I can’t fix it.

This is what 2021 taught me: life is full of hurt and laughter and sad tears and happy tears. It’s hard times, tough times, and times so wonderful that I honestly felt like I was living in a fairy tale. 

(I might add that the fairy tale moment was in a library, not over a guy, which is pretty fitting for me at this point in my life.)

2021 was vaccinations, concerts coming back, travel, ups and downs and moving and did I mention hard times?!?

Life certainly sucks sometimes, but there are times when it’s so beautiful that I cry out of happiness. 

I saw Thomas Jefferson’s books this year. I went to the biggest library in the world. I listened to music, hugged my dogs a little harder when I was away from them during my homelessness, and I learned that there are people in the world who will help you if you just ask.

Here is what I know, three months shy of my 37th birthday:

- People are inherently good.

- Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t go to for advice.

- Don’t base major life decisions around someone you’re not married to.

- Give yourself the same grace you show other people.

- Stop cyber stalking your exes. They don’t give a shit, and neither should you.

- People will lie to your face and won’t feel bad about it.

- People are good, but there are some bad apples in the bunch. 

- Pugs are the best dogs ever.

- Do whatever the hell you want to.