Asparagus and a bad day.

Before you read this, I have to give you a warning first: This is a story about a few first-world problems that includes some unnecessary whining.

In the end, it doesn't really matter. But I have a blog, and I feel like whining.

The story is really just about asparagus. For those of you in my hometown who had asparagus for Easter, I hope you're happy, because you bought all of it. ALL OF IT.

And my debit card does work now, thanks to the second person I talked to about the problem. The first person was of no help. Sometimes you just have to ignore people and move on to the next person instead of trying to fix stupid.

The story:

All I really wanted on Saturday was asparagus.

I found a really good recipe online for it. A little salt and pepper, butter, garlic and lemon juice makes it super delicious.

So, I set out to buy some.

First, I went to the bank to get some cash. Only, I forgot my pin number and locked my debit card, which prevented me from using it.

It's good that my bank does that. If a thief got my card, I'd like to think the idiot couldn't use it. Except, the idiot that tried to use it and failed was me.

So, that was the first setback. There are good things and bad things about life, I suppose.

What a wonderful way to start this shopping trip.

I didn't need cash or my pin number to buy groceries. I could just use my debit card and run the transaction as credit instead, I thought.

Whatever. It works for me.

At that point, I was really, really annoyed, mostly at myself, but also at everyone else that existed, too.

Three people got on my nerves before I even walked into the first grocery store.

I should have just gone home. It was one of those days.

The first store I went to didn't have asparagus. I grabbed a cart on the way into the store. When I left, I was going to take the cart back and put it up.

Because that's what normal people do, right?

The cart's front wheel locked up at the store's exit. What the hell?

Then the alarms started blaring, and I heard someone behind me say "I'm on my way."

I didn't think she was talking to me. Am I really the reason the alarm is going off? All because I want to put a cart up?

The lady came and scanned the cart's wheel that was locked. Apparently, when you try to walk out of the store with a cart without going through a check out, the wheel locks up.

Think of it as an anti-theft measure.

There are apparently measures put in place all throughout town to prevent people from stealing and being stupid, but those measures aren't Monica-proof. (And for the record, no, I did not steal anything. I didn't even buy anything.)

Here's the thing, though. I was kind of in a bad mood.

I would describe myself as very, very introverted. When you add a bad mood, a tooth that needs to be fixed and hurts a little, plus an alarm blaring in a store with everyone looking at me and wondering what I stole, well, it doesn't make for a very happy Monica.

When you're irritated, everything is irritating.

So, the first store didn't have any asparagus.

The second store only had limp asparagus. It was also a no-go.

I drove past Wal-Mart, but on a Saturday afternoon with my pissed off mood and with a dying nerve (tooth) in my face, I just accepted defeat and went home.

Groceries were not had that day.

The bright side, though, is that I stopped in Wichita at a grocery store yesterday en route to a doctor's appointment.

Guess who finally has asparagus! Beautiful asparagus, actually. I stood in front of the produce section in awe for a second.

There were so many beautiful vegetables! Golden beets! Leeks! And other stuff! I wanted to buy everything.

Shut up and take my money!

(You guys, I went to Wichita and bought vegetables. You know how I know I'm old?)

Sometimes you win and sometimes you don't.