Never break heart.

Today was my ninth concert in the past 10 months, eight of which have been Eric Church shows.

Today was my last EC concert of this tour.

That’s good news, mostly, because gas prices are beyond ridiculous right now and I’m ready for a break.

The past 10 months have been about a lot of things for me. Healing, for the most part, but also celebrating new things, letting new people in, being brave enough to do things on my own, moving on, letting go, failing over and over and then failing some more, never giving up, and accepting the fact that life downright sucks sometimes.

And learning how to lean on people, too, when I need help.

The past few years in Monicaland have been rough. I know there are people who lost more than me in life, especially in the past two years, but I think it’s also important to talk about the bad stuff and not shove it aside. 

Speak to loss, if you will.

I’ve talked about what I’ve lost since the pandemic started plenty on my blog. I’m feeling optimistic right now, which is weird, but right now I’m going to look on the bright side of life.

I can walk and breathe without pain (thanks, sinus surgery and kind surgeon who believed me) and not cough every 20 seconds (thanks, a form of acid reflux that doesn’t have heartburn as a symptom and a pill that costs 50 cents per day to fix that).

I can live without pain. I can go places, anywhere, really.

I can do scary things on my own and come out unscathed, mostly. 

I fall sometimes, and one time I fell into a pretty big, deep hole, but I’m not in that hole anymore.

I’m in a place where there’s light and love and happiness and singing and dancing all around me. 

And that is something I do not take for granted.

I’m so happy I lived through what I did, because it brought me to this place.  

I never appreciated the good times until I went through the bad times. 

So thank you, Eric Church, ECB, Joanna, and some of the most amazing people I met over the last 10 months.

I needed help and I needed to heal, and I got that. 

I thought to myself tonight, while looking around me, that it’s really nice to not be broken anymore. 

It feels good. 

This feels good.

I feel good. 

I’m just really happy to be here and to see all of the happiness around me.

Life is beautiful.