Friday, May 19, 2017

Picture this

Socially awkward Monica is in an elevator with an attractive man.

Attractive man is around my age, maybe a little bit older, and he's wearing a bright pink shirt and a pretty amazing pair of cowboy boots.

Me: "I like your pink shirt and boots."

Seriously attractive man: "Thanks. If you're not man enough to wear pink, you shouldn't wear anything at all."

Socially awkward Monica: "I agree."

Wait...what was I supposed to say? What was the right response to that?

Did I just tell him that he shouldn't be wearing anything at all?

I turned bright red. Apple red. Monica is embarrassed to be alive right now red.

He laughed at me, and I sprinted off of the elevator to sweet, sweet introvert solitude.

Was he flirting? I have no idea. I don't have the greatest track record with successful relationships. I have no idea what's going on unless someone spells it out for me.

But I do have a malfunctioning colon and I'm still shrinking, so who knows.

Gah.

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