My list-of-shit-that’s-wrong-with-me

Patience is not my strong point.

When you add patience to a health care situation, that is especially not my strong point.

I'm in the process of undergoing tests and exams where I get poked and prodded to see if something's going up with my spleen. Or maybe my gallbladder. Or maybe a kidney? Or it could be an ulcer.

No one really knows yet.

All I know is that there's some suspicious stuff going on that wasn't going on a few months ago.

At this point, maybe all of my organs are mad at each other and malfunctioning (not likely, I know). 

My doctor/nurse practitioner ordered a sonogram of what I thought was my spleen. The perfectly nice sonogram lady said she ordered an abdominal scan, which meant I got to have all of my insides looked at and poked.

I also had an x-ray while I was there, because why not?

When I told the perfectly nice sonogram lady that something hurt and I jumped off the table into the ceiling, she just stabbed me with the sonogram wand extra hard and extra long at that one spot.

Oh, that's nice.

The thing is, I'm not really modest about health stuff. I had cysts removed a few years ago, and I stopped counting how many people saw me without some sort of clothes on at 17 mid-way through that problem.

I kept my shirt on throughout the appointment. Exam? Whatever it was, the other day.

I wish the perfectly nice sonogram lady had just told me to take my shirt off. It's a messy process, especially when you have to roll over on each side on a table that's full of lube. 

That prompted a text message to my bff: "The sonogram lady got lube all over my shirt. Happy Thursday morning to me!"

The human body, especially mine, is really stupid sometimes. And sometimes in life, you have to walk out in public with lube all over your shirt. Which is a really weird thing, especially when you woke up that morning and didn't think lube would be a part of your day. 

Life is really stupid sometimes.

When I go through health stuff, my mind always wanders back to a post The Bloggess wrote a few years ago, titled "Where I am right now."

From that post: "But I had the same growth 10 years ago and got it biopsied and it wasn’t cancer then and eventually it just went away, so I suspect it’s a silent twin that’s just swimming around in my body and fucking shit up."
"And more upsetting is the fact that I still feel exactly as exhausted as I did before we started the treatment, so God knows if this will even work or if it’ll just be another bullet-point in my list-of-shit-that’s-wrong-with-me."
"I should be happy that things weren’t worse, and relieved that I have the resources to diagnose and maybe fix the problems, but today I’m just sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I can’t find a way to end this paragraph."

*My nurse practitioner  and doctor's office I got referred to were amaze balls. I'm just whining because I feel like whining.