Hooray for vision.

I am not a graceful person.

If there's a chair nearby that has not moved in six months, I will trip over it and fall on my face.

If something can go wrong, it usually does with me.

This week's debacle involved getting new contacts. My new prescription is pretty spiffy, and I am enjoying seeing bricks in buildings and blades of grass instead of just green blobs everywhere.

What I don't enjoy, however, is the pressure I feel while putting in my contacts at my optometrist's office.

I've been to places in the past where they watch you put the contacts in. Um, no pressure, right? At my new place, they left the room for a few minutes to leave me to my business without an audience watching.

The first problem I encountered was the mirror on the wall. It makes sense to expect people to use that, because I'm guessing most normal people put their contacts in while looking at a bathroom mirror.

Of course, I'm not one of those normal people.

At my casa, I sit on the floor and have to dim the lights. I'm weird, I know.

I also messed up by trying to do my right eye first. My right eye is the problem eye that takes the longest, so I usually save it for last.

I tried forever to get that stupid contact in. I had paper towels and Kleenexes all over the poor optometrist's counter. Every time I tried to put contact solution on my contact, I would miss and squirt the solution three feet away from me.

Sigh.

The contacts also fell off my finger a lot. I'd go to stab my eye, and the little contact would just slide down my finger until it hit the palm of my hand. I've never had that problem before.

Really, life? Really?

I would describe myself as a pretty independent person. Every time I heard footsteps, I freaked out because, dammit, I'm going to get these things in by myself before anyone else comes back into the room!

(I probably have some issues.)

I also cry a river when I first put contacts in. After they were both finally in, I tried my best to clean up the huge mess I made, grabbed a Kleenex, and sat down in the chair to wait patiently.

When my optometrist came in the room, he asked me what the Kleenex in my hand was for. Silly doctor, you have no idea of the huge mess I just made in your office five minutes ago.

I'm proud to say that I love my new prescription and brand of contacts.

Hooray for vision!