I was driving around my hometown with my parents on Christmas Eve, looking at the neighborhood that usually puts luminaries out.
Except this year that neighborhood did not do luminaries, which means Christmas should have been canceled and I just wasted a trip home. (Best guess as to why they didn’t put them out this year: burn ban.)
I had surgery on Dec. 20, and I was in a mood on Christmas Eve. My head throbbed and my face was swollen.
I was in the backseat, and I started talking about how I want a prenup if someone ever decides that I’m maybe marriage material.
My parents didn’t seem to like this idea of mine.
Marriage is forever, they said. Through sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live. ‘Til death do you part.
At this point, I thought the only appropriate response to that was to start singing some Kayne:
We want prenup! We want prenup! It’s something that you need to have, cause when she leaves, she’s gonna leave with half.
🤷♀️
Merry Christmas to my parents, from me.
We don’t want no gold diggers!
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