I don't know what to do when car doors do not open.

Scene 1:

I discovered yesterday on my lunch break that my car door did not open.

I don't know what to do when car doors do not open.

I crawled out the passenger side door, called the guy who fixes my car, then went and traded my Dad's perfectly fine truck for a car that doesn't have a functioning driver's side door.

(Cars are kind of like teeth. When it goes wrong, I know to call someone smarter than me.)

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Scene 2:

While being laughed at by the guy who fixes my car, my Dad asks me if I want to lock my doors on my car while it's sitting in the parking lot of the fixing place.

Well, I said, if someone tries to steal it, they're going to have a really hard time opening the door.

Fyi, apparently if the hinge that holds the door open breaks, and you open your car door on a day where the wind is blowing 50 miles per hour, you can actually damage your front fender.

You can damage your front fender so much that the damn door will not open.

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Scene 3:

My mom: Oh my God did you wreck your car? What did you hit?

Me: The wind. I hit the wind.

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Scene 3:

My dumbass dog woke up at 4:30 a.m. and did not go back to sleep.

I worked up some tomatoes. I made a big breakfast. I did dishes. I watched the news curled up with a blanket and a space heater...all before 8 a.m.

Dog at 4:30 a.m.: Hey I have to go outside.

Dog at 4:32 a.m.: Oh my God it’s cold let me back in.

Dog at 4:33 a.m.: Hey since you’re awake do you wanna party?