My momma taught me better than that.

I used to think all of life's problems had an answer.

When you're little and you can't figure something out, you ask Mom. She can fix anything.

In grade school, middle school and high school, teachers gave you problems that always had an answer. If you didn't know, you asked, and they helped you figure it out.

In college, professors did the same thing. If they didn't know the answer, another student probably did.

It's a little different in my grown-up professional life.

I'm starting to realize -- no, I've known this for quite a while now -- that no one else has the answers to my problems.

I have to decide what to do. And for some of questions, I don't have an answer.

I don't understand why houses, relationships, promises and other things fall through. I don't understand why I can't just make one single plan for my life and have everything happen on time the way I want it to.

I don't have the answer for these things when they happen. And that's really frustrating sometimes.

I've been told more than once that my expectations aren't reasonable. That makes me giggle, because I honestly expect things to be 100 percent successful. And then when they fail, I get shocked and upset every single time.

I don't like failing. Failing, and not having answers, are both really frustrating things.

-----

I looked at houses in December, a day after my other one fell through.

I was heart broken. I cried so much I didn't think I could cry any more. At the time I thought, you know what? I'm not going to let this break me.

I'm going to kick some grass over that shit and move on.

I moved on to a much better house. If you can't tell, this house business means a lot to me.

I can't even describe how much it means to me. It bothers me when other people have what I want and don't treat it with respect.

House, I will do you right. I will fix you when you break.

I promise.

-----

On a happier note, I get the keys to my house next week. Due to my philosophy of hating spending money, I'm pretty sure my closet project is a go now.

Hooray! I'm looking forward to taking a hammer to the old closet and tearing the crap out of it.

House therapy!