I couldn't be more normal if I tried.

A few months ago, after going through a particularly stressful time, I went to a couple of doctor's appointments for minor things I'd been noticing.

We talked about blood pressure during these appointments. My blood pressure had been fine for about two years - maybe a year and a half - and during an appointment a few months ago we talked about me getting off blood pressure medicine.

It didn't seem to be an issue for me anymore.

But in December, it was high. Like, really high. I explained that I was going through some stressful stuff, and that I wanted to give it some time to see if it would go away on its own.

In January, I had another doctor's appointment. It was still high.

Blah. I knew I didn't feel good, but I didn't know why.

We talked about a solution. I mentioned anxiety. The doctor (well, technically nurse) asked me if I wanted to try taking anxiety medicine.

Meh, I don't know, I said. I'm open to anything that will help me, but I didn't particularly want to add one more medication to my list.

She explained the pros and cons. I thought about it.

She said something to me that made me finally make a decision: "You're too young to have a stroke."

Um, this is true. I kind of like my life and I need to live it for a while longer.

She called in a prescription and I was on my way out the door that morning.

I've talk to doctors in the past about possibly needing anxiety medicine. No one had ever really taken me seriously. One even told me all I had to do was breathe differently.

Maybe that works for some people, but not me. I need something a little stronger than pausing to take deep breaths.

So I started taking anxiety medicine. I was told it would take up to six weeks to take effect. I followed the instructions and told a few people, because the instructions said that people need to know you're on it in case your personality changes.

I was ashamed at first. The morning that I was prescribed it was not a good morning. God, I thought, what's wrong with you? You can't handle life without drugging yourself up first?

I have a job, a paid off car, a roof over my head (even though it's not my roof - I'm working on that), food to eat, a pretty cool little dog. Is my life really that bad that I need this?

One of my co-workers stopped my line of thinking that morning. Who cares if you need it, she said. It's nothing to be ashamed about, and if it helps, then so be it.

I started taking it that day. Call me crazy, but I noticed a difference right away.

That feeling of 1,000 bricks on my chest is gone. I sleep at night. Well, most nights, anyway. Pre-medicine I don't even remember the last time I slept through the night.

I wake up in the morning, roll out of bed, and go about my day. I don't lay there thinking about the 1,000 little things that could go wrong in life.

And when things do go wrong? Meh, I think, who cares. This won't matter a week from now, let alone a year from now.

Why am I writing about this now?

I read this recently:  The Top 9 Reasons I Hate Anxiety

Among the ones I can relate to:

Anxiety tricks you out of the “now” as you obsessively replay and regret the past and worry about the future.  Anxiety loves to wake you up at 3:00 in the morning, so you can nurse past grievances and worry about future catastrophes.
Anxiety feels dreadful. When anxiety has you in its clutches, you will want to move out of your body and inhabit some other space—anything to escape that awful feeling. Regrettably, there is no place to go. You can’t vacate the premises.

I always wondered if I need anxiety medicine, but I didn't think it would happen like this. I expected my doctor/nurse to stand on a rooftop and shout something like "CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE PROBLEMS AND YOU'RE A LOSER."

That's not what happened, though. It was very nonchalant. Like, oh, you need this? Okay, let's try it.

And that's that.

By the way, my co-worker was correct. There's no shame in admitting you need help with something.

Another by the way: I stopped in to said doctor/nurse's office a few times after I started taking it. My blood pressure was normal. I couldn't be more normal if I tried.

So take that, body. I fixed you.

(Note: The irony in having anxiety about taking anxiety medicine is not lost on me. I told a few friends that. They laughed, which made me laugh. It was a stupid thing to worry about.)

(Another note: There are a few things that are off limits that I don't blog about, and health stuff is on that list. I think it's important to write about, though, to let people know that it's okay to get help if you need it. Seriously, all you need to do is ask. It took me a few years to learn that.)