Riddle.

Riddle: Why am I wearing long sleeves in July?

Answer: I'm trying to hide gnarly looking bruises on my arm.

No, I didn't get in a fight or lose a bet. What did I do to deserve bruises and pain?

I tried to give blood yesterday. The word 'tried' is important in that sentence because I didn't really succeed.

I'm still scratching my head at how I failed at trying to do something positive. I'm getting ahead of myself here. Let's start from the beginning.

I worked out like a boss on Wednesday night. I sweated my little heart out at the gym and felt pretty fantastic afterward. Then on Thursday morning, I read in the paper about a blood drive that was going on right by my casa.

I figured I'd stop on my lunch break and try to do something good. Why not?

After about an hour of filling out forms and telling numerous people that I probably don't have Malaria, I hopped up on a table, thinking that I would only be there a few minutes.

The nurse came over and poked around on my arm with her fingers.

Then she poked some more.

Do you drink a lot of water during the day?

Why yes, I do, I told her. I mostly stopped drinking caffeine and I chug water all day every day.

Next question she wanted to know: Do you sweat a lot?

I thought for a minute. No, not really.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure, but I did work out the night before.

The nurse told me apparently I sweated all the water out of my body and she couldn't find a vein. Then she found it, then it was small, then she lost it, then she found it again.

A pinch and a poke later, I chilled out and thought about other things. I figured it'd only be a few minutes.

The nurse came over again, told me that my vein moved and there was no blood coming out.

Um, what? I was sitting still and I swear I didn't move an inch.

After more poking and prodding, she asked me how I was squeezing the stress ball. I showed her, then she got mad at me for using my arm and my fingers (apparently you're supposed to use only your fingers).

At this point, she gave up, took the needle out of my arm, showed me a blood clot (I have no idea if that's good or bad) and told me to hold a bandage up against my arm.

You're going to have a pretty good bruise, she said.

It didn't really hurt, so I just ignored that comment.

I've gave blood in college frequently because I knew someone whose life depended on it. I never bruised or had any complications, so I brushed off what the nurse told me. Psh, what does she know anyway?

A day later, let's just say that she was right. That bruise is pretty gross looking, hence the long-sleeved shirt in July.

Oh well. I can laugh at the fact that I tried to do something good and failed. Also, I tried to do something good and in return, it feels like someone just shot me in the arm.

Ha, ha.

I signed up to give blood one more time. If it doesn't go well next time, I might have to retire from this for good.

This was a lot easier to do 10 years ago.

Also, although I failed, it was a good excuse to eat a candy bar and not work out for a day.

(Editor's note: I wrote this two days ago. The bruise has only gotten worse since then, and is kind of swollen. I'm so talented, I screw up royally without even realizing it...)