Quotes

Random things I overheard this weekend on the right coast:

- Guy, probably in his late 40s or early 50s, introducing his girlfriend to everyone, and telling people where she worked (prestigious company): “She’s my sugar momma.”

Guy beside him: “You’re a man after my own heart.”

- Random girl: “Get you a man who looks at you like that guy looks at Eric Church.”

Fat chance of that ever happening.

- Random dude in front of me the second night, whipping around to interrogate me after I coughed: “I am not a germophobe. I’m germ-aware. Give me your hands.”

I thought we were going to hold hands? I stuck my hands out, and he sprayed sanitizer on them.

Also, I’m having sinus surgery in a week, but I’m not going to explain that to a drunk germ-aware dude at a concert.

Sanitize the crap out of my hands, dude, I don’t care.

The entire concert: “I’m germ-aware!”

Great, I’m happy for you. Also, upcoming surgery. 

He also didn’t last the entire concert and I did, so stick that in your country song, germophobe. 

You might as well just pour your beer on my hands. The alcohol is probably the same strength as your sanitizer. 

🤷‍♀️

- A moment with the girl beside me, who adopted me.

Me: “What’s the most important relationship you’ll ever be in?”

Her, above the music: “YOURSELF.”

She understood the assignment.