Part 5: Well, that’s fine, but the Cardinals are to you what Eric Church is to me.

I don’t even know where to start. So, let’s start from the beginning. We got to the arena a couple of hours early. The Cardinals were playing the Cubs, and that stadium almost 50,000* people. Graduations were going on downtown, and the Scottrade Center holds almost 20,000 people.

Like I told my Mom, there are 70,000 people within a mile or two of each other.

We wanted to go early to get a parking spot.

We parked easily, then went and stood in line for a while. The guy beside us, decked out with a wicked sunburn alongside his daughter, told us that the Cards won that afternoon. (Cubs had won the night before.)

He gave us a breakdown: The Cubs are usually better. It’s nice to get a win when we can, he said.

His daughter said it wasn’t pretty, but that it was a good game.

There’s one thing you need to know about Saint Louis: They really, really like baseball. They're really serious about it, too. And if you inadvertently cut in line when you're buying tickets to the game, you will get your backside handed to you for that mistake.

As you absolutely should. (Don't ask me how I know that.)

The game started at 3 p.m., and we were standing in line for EC around 6 or 6:30 p.m.

I asked the guy and his daughter what would have happened if the game ran late. What if it lasted 18 innings? Which would they pick, Eric Church or the Cards?

His daughter, a college student, looked at me like I was the stupidest person on Planet Earth. 

Which would she pick? Her exact quote: “THE CARDINALS.”

Well, that’s fine, but the Cardinals are to you what Eric Church is to me. I did not say that to her. She had a badass tattoo on her leg, and she probably would have beat me up or something.

*Game attendance was 47,925 people. 

Beauty.