Once I realized what that is and that I was one, my life made a whole lot more sense than it did before I knew.
Being an introvert does not mean you hate people. It doesn't mean you don't like public speaking, deep conversations, or that you're shy.
Being an introvert means that being around people, especially large groups of people, is draining and physically exhausting.
When I'm alone, with close friends or family, I don't have to be 'on.'
But around new groups of people, I have to be 'on' and I have to be quick on my feet and think of answers to questions.
To me, it's exhausting and I feel like I just ran a marathon afterwards.
I started this leadership program last week in my hometown. The first session was just the introduction. The program actually begins in a couple of weeks.
It was an all day session, from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., with a working lunch break. (I have to be around people on my lunch break?)
The morning started out strong. We went through "speed dating," which involves having 2-minute conversations with 13 strangers (well, I know one of them, so it was only 12 strangers).
I sailed through that. Small talk is especially painful for me, but I can make small talk for two minutes 13 times in a row. Piece of cake.
Next was an exercise that I had a blast doing. We separated into four groups based off a personality test we did.
There was only one other person in my group, which didn't surprise me.
In crowds of people not a lot of them have my personality.
We were tasked with planning a party. That was the only thing we were told, and we were given markers and big sheets of paper to write out our plans.
Plan a party? What kind of party? I need more direction and details, people!
My partner and I decided to plan a baby birthday party (ha, ha, it was my idea). We wrote down our plans, the time the party would start, and a schedule of each of the events that would happen (introductions, food, gift opening, games, and the time everyone would be kicked out in the end).
I like having a schedule, a to-do list, and a plan.
So did my partner.
Going around the room, it was really funny to see what each group's plans involved. The extroverts, the group of people on the opposite side of the personality spectrum as me, planned a spirit tasting party that involved a lot of people.
Our little baby birthday party had 20 invites (ha, ha).
I loved that exercise.
During the next activity, we were asked to plan something, but we had to pretend to be the group of people whose personalities were opposite of ours.
That means that my partner and I, who like to plan things and know what's going to happen advance, had to plan a kitchen remodel and pretend to be extroverts who don't care about details.
We struggled at first. We wanted to plan expenses, take measurements, hire a designer, stuff like that.
One of the facilitators came over to our table, told us to stop planning, and start writing stuff down. We were challenged to not use numbers.
Oh, Jesus.
I presented our kitchen design to the group. It was really fun doing that.
My opening line was something like: "We want the best kitchen with the most top of the line features. We don't care about price as long as we get what we want! Who cares about money!"
Everyone in the room laughed, including me.
Our kitchen (remember, we're pretending to be care-free extroverts here) involved granite counter tops, soft-close cabinet doors, a table that seated 12 people, French doors going to an outdoor eating area, and a giant chandelier above the table.
We had no plan on getting prices for this stuff. We had no plans of timeline. After all, we don't care!
One of the facilitators asked us how it felt to do that.
I said one word: Painful.
(Haha.)
Next, the group of extroverts across the room had to plan a kitchen and pretend to be my partner and I.
I laughed, hard, the entire time. They nailed it.
They started off by saying that they needed to price every single material used, at different stores. Then they wanted to compare prices, then they needed to spend a while thinking about it before they made a decision.
Um...that's exactly what I would do. Actually, I'm pretty sure I've done this exact thing multiple times, just not with kitchen planning.
I had a blast during the morning session. I smiled a lot, laughed a lot, and talked a lot.
-----
During lunch there were more presentations, more group exercises, more bonding, more teamwork.
Yawn.
I looked at the clock at 2 p.m., and really thought about just crawling on the floor under my table and taking a nap.
I crashed and burned hard and fast, guys. The afternoon session was really difficult for me.
I can take so many hours of group work. At the end of the day, I was ready to go home, cuddle with my Pug, pull my covers over my head and pretend like the day didn't happen.
This leadership course will be good, I think, but it will also be exhausting for me.
At the end of the day, we each had to say one thing we learned.
My response: I learned that I'm tired.
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