That dream never goes away, does it?

Last night, in my dream, I could not find my class schedule, I couldn't go to class, and I couldn't graduate.

I am 32 years old. I own my own home. I finished school nine years ago.

That dream never goes away, does it?

Boom!

It's a long story.

For most normal people, it's a simple question.

A co-worker stopped by my office and asked me where I went to school.

Well, I said, it's a long story. Do you want the school I started out at, the school I transferred to, or the school I finally graduated from?

I don't tend to do anything easy in life. In fact, most all of my big life decisions I make tend to be disastrous, which usually ends up being a blessing after the fact.

I told my co-worker that I was on the five-year plan that involved going to three different colleges.

At 18, I thought I knew everything. It turns out, I had no idea what I was doing. It took a while for me to get it together, but I finally did, moved on, graduated, and started my professional life.

I failed at everything I could possibly fail at. I'm the perfect poster child for failure.

I went to three schools in five years. I moved seven times in 10 years.

I used to be insecure when people talked to me about college, or education in general. I didn't like visiting college campuses, because they made me nervous and anxiety-ridden. 

Now, I love talking about it.

I think it's okay to fail at life. Everyone does it. 

Just because you failed at something doesn't make you a failure. I went to school full-time, did not have a family of my own, and didn't have many responsibilities in life. And, I still couldn't graduate in four years or attend just one school.

I can't imagine the obstacles some people face when it comes to education (or other life things).

The moral of the story is if you ask me what school I went to, you're going to get an earful. And then I'm going to tell you to give my advice to your kid. That will take another few minutes of your life.

Just don't ask me about the house buying process. That disaster will take at least 20 or 30 minutes to explain.

Notes

The first week back from vacation is usually pretty tough. On Monday morning, I had my headphones in, jamming out while working on some weekly tasks.

Somebody walked into my office to talk to me, so I pulled my headphones out. Except, instead of pulling on my headphones I pulled on my earring. I tugged for a few seconds before I realized that my earring was not my headphones.

That was how my week started.

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On the topic of stupid things...

In Kansas City we were eating downtown, and one of my friends made the comment that the water in the fountains was a really bright blue color.

We looked in awe. Why the blue water? That's really weird.

I realized last night that the water in the fountains was blue because of the Royals.

Ha, ha. It took me practically a week to figure that out.

I'm an idiot.

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On my first road trip last week I discovered a CD that I made in college.

My car is too old to play iThings, and I haven't invested in an iThing updater thingy yet. When I go on long road trips I bust out the CDs (God, I'm showing my age).

This CD I made around 2005, judging by the songs on it. I'm too embarrassed to post the songs on my blog, but listening to it just reiterated how much of a moron I was in college.

You better believe I listened to those songs the whole trip. Haha.

I might not be able to play iThings, but at least my out-dated car is paid off.

Did I ever mention that to anyone?

I finally paid it off!

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Speaking of college, earlier this week I hosted an alumni dinner in my hometown. I use the term 'hosted' loosely because I certainly don't have a big fancy pants house to invite people to.

In fact, I don't have much of anything in the way of material possessions, but the small things I do have I'm really thankful for. I have a career. I have potential. I have a degree that I'm using. I have friends in some really cool places and I've done some really interesting things since I graduated.

There were some really successful people there last night. I enjoyed talking with them. I look forward to being that successful myself one day.

I've been wanting to do that for a couple years now. I'm glad I finally crossed that off my to-do list.

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"I feel like a rabbit when I eat leaves." - My brother talking about the salad I was eating yesterday.

Second favorite.

October is my second favorite month out of the year.

I love fall. I love seeing the trees change colors, I love fall football games, the spirit of homecoming, drinking hot apple cider and finally wearing long-sleeved shirts after a miserable summer.

And after a wet, cold and pretty awful time in Nebraska a few weeks ago, I'm excited to start wearing boots again. (I hope Nebraska wasn't offended by that comment.)

I've linked to this before on my blog, but I thought today would be a good time to post it again. I wrote this last October. It's probably my favorite thing I've ever written. I remember sitting in a coffee shop in a big(ish) city writing this.

I loved every minute of it.

Here's a link to the column.

It's kind of fun to think of what the past year has brought me, including the places I've traveled to, the things I've accomplished and conquered, and the things I've completely failed at doing.

I can't wait to see what the next year brings me. Hopefully it involves more travels, more great people, and a lot more laughter. Okay, I'm not going to lie. I want more beer, too.

Full disclaimer: Even though I love October, I really hate pumpkin flavored stuff. I had to make that loud and clear. It even deserves italics.

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Alumna shares advice with Southwestern students

I had my life planned out seven years ago.

I was finishing up at a community college and I was planning to transfer to a state university. I was set.

Then, life threw me a wonderful curveball. Once I made a campus visit to Southwestern and saw that beautiful building on top of the hill, that was it.

I knew I had to change my plans and go to school in Winfield.

If you’re a Southwestern student reading this, I need to talk to you. I have some advice that, if given to me a few years ago, could have saved me a few dollars, some sleepless nights and some heartache.

Here’s my advice to you.

You’re going to spend the rest of your life dodging those curveballs. It doesn’t matter what you have planned out, life will take you in another direction.

Let it.

I think you need to know that in the end, it’s all worth it. One day, a few years from now, you’ll look back and realize that you went through everything you did for a reason. If you try really hard and put your degree to good use, one day you’ll have a wonderful life.

You’ll have Southwestern to thank for that wonderful life that you love.

Tonight at sunset, sit on top of the 77 and watch the sun in all its glory. You’ll miss that and wish you did it more often when you move away from Winfield.

I also have some job advice for you. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. And don’t be afraid to leave a situation if you don’t like it. The best decisions I’ve ever made in my professional life have been leaving situations I’ve been unhappy with.

If you’re brave enough to leave, life will greet you with a wonderful new hello.

You have a wonderful gift. You get to decide how your life will go. You get to decide who to spend the rest of your life with, what city to live in, and what career you want to have.

Those are all big decisions to make. Time your time.

It’s been five years since my class finished college. We’ve gotten married, had children, advanced in our careers and have had some wonderful things happen in our lives.

Achieving all of those things is not easy.

It’s my hope that every single one of my classmates knows this, and I want to pass it onto you.

You might not know that sometimes life doesn’t work out. Sometimes you’ll break, and it’s okay if you do. Before that happens, surround yourself with people who don’t mind putting the pieces back together for you.

Sometimes you can’t do it yourself.

And the next time you’re walking around the Southwestern campus, take a look around. You have an amazing network of people who want to help you achieve your goals. Talk to professors after class. Ask about internships, jobs and part-time jobs. Ask students, too.

Jobs fizzle out, cities can change and friendships you make can fade. Don’t let go of your friends from home or your friends from college – they’ll be there when jobs and cities change.

And that student sitting next to you in class? That person could someday be your boss. Be nice to other students, and don’t be afraid to network with them if you’re looking for a job.

Trust me.

The most important piece of advice I can give you is this: Be confident. Aggressively seek what you want in life, and don’t ever settle until you get it.

You deserve it.

Monica Springer

Southwestern College, class of 2008

An important note

Good morning!

I'm bringing this post to you with glittery nails and a smile on my face.

It's wedding weekend! Not my wedding weekend, but whatever, it's wedding weekend nonetheless.

This post will not be about weddings, though. It's about something else that's important and something that has been years in the making.

This morning I made my second to last car payment.

You guys, we're on the home stretch. This is a big deal!

I bought my recent car, a Toyota, a few months after I paid my old car off. Said old car wasn't very reliable.

My old car broke down the day I moved to college. To this day, I still can't stop at the gas station where I spent three hours waiting for a tow truck (and crying). And if I'm driving with other people through that small town in Kansas, I ask them to please not stop there.

I still can't handle it.

After college, the air conditioner broke on my old car. My first summer after college was spent commuting to a neighboring town where my first grown up job was.

When I got off work every weeknight, I'd go to a convenience station, buy a cup of ice, go back to my car, dump the ice in a small towel, then put the towel on my head for the drive home.

That was my air conditioner.

I still view that summer as punishment for all the stupid stuff I did in college. It really, really sucked.

A year later, the air conditioner in that car stopped working again. My parents told me to come back to my hometown that weekend. I did, and they had pretty much cherry-picked my new car for me.

I bought it that day.

It was hotter than sin outside, and I drove up to the car dealership with my windows rolled down. The salesmen made a comment about the AC not working.

Shut up, sales guy. Just shut up and give me my new car.

My new car isn't new anymore. It needs some work after I pay if off, some dings and scratches probably need to get fixed, I need to upgrade my tunes so I can play iThings in the car, and some other things need fixed and replaced.

But those things can wait.

You guys, my car is almost paid off! I never thought I'd see that day. This is a big deal to me.

Hooray!

Worth it.

I've always known I what I wanted to do.

When I was little, a family friend would clip out newspaper articles about things I liked and give them to me. In first or second grade, he gave me a story about a man who raised giant rabbits for a living.

I carried that article around in my pink crayon box for the longest time. I still remember the black and white picture beside the story. I remember reading every word in the story, amazed such giant rabbits existed.

More than that, 8-year-old Monica was amazed that some writer got to hang out with rabbits and rabbit people all day. (I had five rabbits when I was little, along with a bird, hedgehog, and multiple dogs. I've always liked animals.)

In high school, I knew I needed to go to college to do that thing I've always wanted to do. I went to college, then another college, then I knew I needed some work experience in my field, along with having a part-time job that actually made my car payment.

Two days a week, I worked at a retail store from 1 to 8 p.m., then went to my hometown newspaper to do sports clerk things until midnight, sometimes past that. Then I'd go home, sometimes do homework, then go to class at 8 a.m. the next day.

I remember thinking I couldn't wait for the day where I could do journalism full-time, and not have to fight with my schedule or with a boss in a part-time job or with anything else in life.

After one year too many and some pretty cool experiences along the way, I finally finished school. I was not a traditional student at a very traditional school. I didn't hate it, but to be honest, I robbed myself of having a traditional college experience.

That die-hard school pride that I see at universities kills my soul. I don't have that. (Part of this is because I transferred so many times, part is probably my personality.)

If I don't have that, what do I have?

I've been thinking about this recently. I always knew I had to go to college. I knew that I would graduate, but I didn't know what would come after that.

Six years post college, I have that figured out now. I always knew I would go to school, but I had no idea what that school would give me in return.

What has it given me?

It's given me a pretty amazing network of people that I still keep in touch with today.

It's also given me some pretty cool life experiences.

I've interviewed a Holocaust survivor.

I've interviewed people who were at the Pentagon on 9/11.

I've shot a gun with a field full of wounded soldiers behind me, all of whom were very vocal in telling me that I have a right to bear arms when I tried to shy out of shooting the gun.

I had no idea what college would give me, maybe because no one in my immediate family went to college. There was no path to follow, and most of the time, there was no advice given to me or wisdom along the way.

I was kind of just swimming around in life, sometimes panicking and starting to drown, and sometimes learning how to swim, but mostly just flailing around until I found something that kind of worked. I cringe when I think about this. College was just a lot of flailing around, trying to figure out what to do, making countless mistakes and acting like an idiot along the way.

I wasn't the world's best student. I wasn't the world's happiest student. And when I make those student loan payments every month, I wonder if it was even worth it, especially when I compare my life to the lives of friends my age who didn't go to college.

I've known this for a while now, but I don't think I've said it out loud or written it down anywhere.

Yeah, it was worth it.

I don't regret taking the messed up, not traditional route I took.

When I transferred schools the first time, I remember thinking that I just messed everything up, I would never amount to anything and that I was finished. I remember being really pissed off and hopeless.

When I left journalism in 2011, I remember thinking that I had screwed everything up, no one would hire me and that I would never amount to anything. There was absolutely not a single ounce of hope left in my body. Also, I was pretty pissed off that life didn't go the way I wanted it to.

Those were both really bad times.

Both of those times, my parents remained pretty adamant that my life wasn't as hopeless as it seemed in my head.

You went to school and finished, they said. You have things that other people don't have - a career and potential.

They were right.

(My 18-year-old self just let out a huge gasp for actually admitting that, by the way.)

College taught me that it's okay to leave a situation if you're not happy. It taught me that there's something better yet to come.

The best thing that college gave me is a network of people who don't believe in giving up.

I'll never have that die-hard, paint my face for football games love for my school. Instead, it's a more subtle kind of emotion.

It's more like a, meh, you're pretty okay after all kind of a feeling.

I know now that it was definitely worth it.