Geico for your money.

I was driving around my hometown with my parents on Christmas Eve, looking at the neighborhood that usually puts luminaries out.

Except this year that neighborhood did not do luminaries, which means Christmas should have been canceled and I just wasted a trip home. (Best guess as to why they didn’t put them out this year: burn ban.)

I had surgery on Dec. 20, and I was in a mood on Christmas Eve. My head throbbed and my face was swollen.

I was in the backseat, and I started talking about how I want a prenup if someone ever decides that I’m maybe marriage material.

My parents didn’t seem to like this idea of mine.

Marriage is forever, they said. Through sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live. ‘Til death do you part.

At this point, I thought the only appropriate response to that was to start singing some Kayne:

We want prenup! We want prenup! It’s something that you need to have, cause when she leaves, she’s gonna leave with half.

🤷‍♀️

Merry Christmas to my parents, from me.

We don’t want no gold diggers! 

I just got back from Hell

I just got back from Hell

Gary Allan

I just got back from Hell
And I'm standing here alive
I know it's really hard to tell
Don't know how I survived
But I can't say that I'm doin' great
But I think I'm doin' well
That Devil's gonna have to wait
'Cause I just got back from Hell

Well, I just got back from Hell
And I guess to tell the truth
Well, I've been mad at everyone, including God and you
When you can't find no one to blame you just blame yourself
And I know I'll never be the same
I just got back from Hell

Forgive me if I had any part
If I ever broke your heart in two
Forgive me for what I didn't know
For what I didn't say or do
And, God, forgive me as well
'Cause I just got back from Hell

Well, I just got back from Hell
And I need to make some plans
It's the last thing that I wanna do
But I'll do the best I can
I'm gonna learn to live again
But I think I'll sit a spell
Tell the world that I'm alive
And I just got back from Hell

I can't say that I'm doin' great
But I think I'm gettn' well
Gonna let the world know I'm alive
And I just got back from Hell
And I just got back from Hell
I just got back from Hell
Got back from Hell

---

If I had to describe the Gary Allan concert in one word, I would call it excellent.

I wish I could describe it to people who weren't there. There are no words to explain it, though. 

You can tell when someone loves what they do and enjoys doing it. 

If a little show in nowhere Kansas can be this great, I wonder what living in Nashville must be like. 

There are no words. 

Just, wow. 

---

The thing that makes me even more excited is that we've got Church coming up in a couple of weeks. 

In the words of EC himself: "The only way I've ever fixed anything in me that's been broken in me is with music."

I know what broken feels like. My broken doesn't look like other people's broken, and for that I'm thankful. Throughout my broken, I've maintained my job, my family, my friends, my dogs and kept my house. 

But broken is broken and music helps. 

Guys, life downright sucks sometimes.

But music helps.

Other than Pugfest, I do believe that concerts are the happiest place on Earth. 

I can fix a drink

As it stands now, I cannot have an implant.

The thing is, I kind of assumed the bone graft I had over the summer would not work. When I say the word 'pain,' I don't mean the normal kind of pain that you feel when you don't feel good.

This was a level of pain that I can't even describe.

Plus, I'm not the kind of person who gets easy fixes. I don't just have a bone graft and then get an implant that works like unicorn poop.

There's not enough bone in that spot for an implant, even with a bone graft.

I saw the x-ray. There's the bone graft, then there's a black hole of nothingness above it.

The oral surgeon asked me if I wanted a bridge. I told him that I just had a $7,000 bridge pulled from my mouth.

He said he could try another bone graft, but my sinus is in the way, so he'd have to "bump the sinus up."

Uh...no.

Or, he said, you could just walk around with a missing tooth.

I guess that's why you shouldn't let an infection eat your face?

I did everything I could to fix that tooth. It was root canalled, root canalled again, it had gum surgery, it had a post in it, it had a bone graft.

When I felt that tooth crack, I made an appointment to get it checked out immediately.

I could not have done anything different.

I gave it all I had.

I can't fix this, guys. The infection ate away at the bone so much that the bone is gone forever.

In the words of a song that I love listening to:

I can't fix that.

But I can fix a drink.