Jesus stick.

For the past few days I've been in Nebraska at a farm show for work.

At every farm show I go to I see people wandering around with walking sticks.

Yesterday morning while roaming around the show, an old man stopped me and asked me if I wanted a walking stick.

Sure, I said. Why not?

He told me I'd have to listen to his story. His story involved being inside of a tent and dry grass, so I figured it wouldn't be bad.

Might I tell you that it was 45 degrees and raining yesterday in Nebraska? And that dirt roads in those conditions turn into mud soup?

Going into a tent seemed like a good idea.

The old man sat me down with a couple of other older men. He was part of a Christian organization, and he explained that life is short and can end at any second.

You don't have to tell me this, especially on Sept. 11. I admired what he said and listened on.

After a few inspirational messages, he asked each of us (me and the two other gentlemen listening to him) whether we would go to heaven if we died soon.

I said, yes, I think so.

He asked me why I think that.

I said something like, well, I think I'm a pretty good person. I also go to church sometimes and try to treat people respectfully (although I mess up sometimes).

The old man got kind of agitated. That's not good enough, he said.

It's not good enough! You're not going to get into heaven just because you're a good person!

He then told me what I could do to get into heaven, but honestly I stopped paying attention. Some guy basically told me I might go to hell in 45-degree weather while I was wearing an $18 Wal-Mart coat, all because I wanted a Jesus stick.

My thought? Dude, look around. We're already in hell!

I think it's worth noting that I did get my Jesus stick after the old man prayed for my soul. Or something, like I said, I wasn't really paying attention.

And I still maintain that I'm a pretty good person with a pretty good shot at seeing those pearly gates.

So there.