Human Pickles

Over the weekend I met the human version of Pickles, and the experience did not disappoint.

I'm not sure where I can even begin to describe that sentence, so I guess I should start from the beginning. 

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I have a dog named Pickles. She is three, she is gray, and she is insanely adorable and happy.

She is so happy, in fact, that sometimes I get mad at her because of her happiness. Pickles loves everything and everyone. Pickles loves every single person she meets, and she loves just about everything in her life.

Pickles loves love.

That's the story of Dog Pickles. The story of Human Pickles is coming up here shortly.

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A while back, I had a pretty important conversation with my nieces. 

I asked my Mom when it was appropriate to tell the kids (4, 4, and 2) that I was seeing someone. 

Grandma said that now is as good a time as any. 

So I awkwardly explained to my little nieces that their aunt is dating somebody. 

At the time, I thought this was earth shattering news. The food came about 20 seconds later, and suddenly the conversation turned to more important things in life, specifically about where to put ketchup on their plate.

About a week later, I decided to test whether the little girls remembered our conversation. I brought up the fact that I was dating someone to them, and told them his name.

Little K, who is 4 and excited about Halloween, had an important question.

K: Is he a spider?

No, little K. I am not dating a spider.

K: Are you sure?

Yep, kid. I'm pretty sure. 

At that point little K wandered off to do little kid things. I started talking to little L. 

"He's your friend?" she asked me.

Yes, I told her. He is my friend.

"He's your friend friend?"

Yes, child. He is my friend friend. 

---

Over the weekend, my friend friend and I went to a concert. 

At one point during the concert, my friend friend told me he was learning a lot of dance moves from the woman beside him.

I looked over, and when I finally saw it, I could not look way.

This woman was dancing like she had nothing to lose. She was a cute, short women, youngish, a brunette with a pixie hair cut.

She was rocking out the entire time. 

When I finally realized who she reminded me of, I knew I had to tell my friend friend. When I got his attention and started to tell him, all that came out was laughter.

I could not keep a straight face or tell my story. 

After I giggled for a while, I finally got my point across. The lady dancing around and being obnoxiously happy was basically the human version of Pickles. 

We named her Human Pickles. 

When I lost Human Pickles in the crowd, I asked my friend friend where she was. 

He said he didn't know, but when she returned we would both know it, because she would skip back to her place. 

My giggling was epic.

I never thought I'd meet the human version of my dog in another city at a concert, but life can be kind of random like that.

The world needs more people like Human Pickles (and Dog Pickles).

Solid

I don't own nothin' new
I might look like a mess to you
But I'm solid

This ol' thing I drive around
Got some rust, makes some funny sounds
But it's paid for and solid

You may think I'm way too chill
But I get it done, got my daddy's will
And I'll always, I'll always keep a promise

In a great big world, spinnin' around
People walkin' around on shaky ground
My foundation's solid
Like a vessel gettin' tossed on the big blue sea
Tryin' to rock me off my feet
It's you that keeps me solid

Everybody wants me to think like they do
Put my faith in somethin' new
But this old school is tried and true, it's solid

Got these 501's back in '93
Yeah the blue's all gone, you can see my knees
But to me man, they're still solid

This old scarred-up piece of wood
Sounds a lot better than it looks
I can't count the nights that it's caught me when I was fallin'

In a great big world, spinnin' around
People walkin' around on shaky ground
My foundation's solid
Like a vessel gettin' tossed on the big blue sea
Tryin' to knock me off my feet
It's you that keeps me solid

It's been a lotta years since I've taken this road home
It's still not paved Mama and Daddy's gone
But the gravel in my soul is solid

Eric Church
Solid

Revolutionary

Pugs

I'm not even sure how to explain the awesomeness I just encountered over the weekend.

For now, I'll just show you a picture. I'll point out that only one of these dogs is mine. The other two followed Penny to my lap and to my heart.

#pugsnotdrugs

Monsters

I killed my first monster when I was seven years old
He melted like butter in my bathroom's sixty-watt bulb
Kept a three-cell MagLite from Daddy's workshop drawer
Under my pillow and I'd pull it like a sword


Anymore when a restless feelin' keeps me up at night
Fallin' on my knees is my new turnin' on the light
I keep my faith intact, make sure my prayers are said
'Cause I've learned that the monsters ain't the ones beneath the bed


The wolf hunts a hungry man and the devil a lonely heart
A minefield of bad decisions lay hidin' in the dark
Greed stalks, sickness steals, and pride lays a wicked trap
You can't avoid 'em all, no, you gotta trust me on that


Anymore when a restless feelin' keeps me up at night
Fallin' on my knees is my new turnin' on the light
I keep my faith intact, make sure my prayers are said
'Cause I've learned that the monsters ain't the ones beneath the bed


Daddy, check my closet, leave on the bathroom light
I smile and say "All clear" when I tuck him in for the night
But Daddy, I'm still scared, can I sleep with you instead?
I kneel down beside my little man and I bow my head


Anymore when a restless feelin' keeps me up at night
Fallin' on my knees is my new turnin' on the light
I keep my faith intact, make sure my prayers are said
'Cause I've learned that the monsters ain't the ones beneath the bed
I've learned that the monsters ain't underneath the bed

-Monsters, Eric Church

Cap.

I bought the kids Captain America shirts this weekend. I asked little K, who is 4 and in preschool, what size shirt she wears.

Her response:  “One or eight or five or two or three.” 

Thanks, kid. That really answers my question. 🤣

#coolestkidsever

Favorite song of all time

Record Year

Eric Church

Since you turned the tables on me
I've been steady and learnin' lonely
Keepin' this turntable spinnin'
Everything from Jones to Jennings
Slowly plannin' my survival
In a three foot stack of vinyl
Since you had to walk on outta here
I've been havin' a record year

I bet you thought before you left
I'd just sit in silence by myself
Turn this house into a jail
Dyin' slow in a livin' hell
But love's got a funny way of keepin' score
And your leavin' lit up my scoreboard
I usually make it through side a sober
All bets are off when I flip her over
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
I'm havin' a record year

Quarter notes and Hank's half time
Are poundin' on this heart of mine
Song to song, I pass my time
With these speakers on ten
Your good and gone keeps me up all night
Along with Songs In The Key Of Life
I'm either gonna get over you
Or I'm gonna blow out my ears
Yeah, you're out there now
Doin' God knows how, and I'm stuck here
Havin' a record year

Your leavin' left me goin' crazy
I'm countin' on a needle to save me
I drop it in the groove
And we go 'round and 'round
And down in a spiral
I guess I really oughta call and thank you
I rediscovered Red Headed Stranger
Got down with old James Brown
And found New Grass Revival
If you find your way back, I owe you a beer
For my record year

Quarter notes and Hank's half time
Are poundin' on this heart of mine
Song to song, I pass my time
With these speakers on ten
Your good and gone keeps me up all night
Along with Songs In The Key Of Life
I'm either gonna get over you
Or I'm gonna blow out my ears
Yeah, you're out there now
Doin' God knows how, and I'm stuck here
Havin' a record year
Yeah, I'm havin' a record year