Weird sentences

I laid in bed last night, thinking about life.

I have a pretty impressive bruise on my leg from the day's shenanigans. I laid awake thinking of the sentence that I could come up with that would best describe how I got that injury.

Here's what I came up with: I have a huge bruise on my leg because I rammed it into a shopping cart while I ran over a porkchop.

I wish I was kidding.

I'm not.

That incident is my second favorite that's happened this year that warrants a weird explanation. A couple of months ago, while I was shaving my legs in the shower, I cut my nose with the razor that I had in my hand.

Don't ask me how it happened, because I have no idea.

I left it alone and it healed nicely. However, explaining to people why I had a wound on my face was kind of an awkward conversation.

Something like: Apparently you need to pay attention to where your face is when there's a sharp object in your hand. Who knew?

Every morning when I put makeup over the scar on my nose, I think about all the weird sentences that I've come up with in my life.

This morning, when it was pouring rain outside: We have a moist Pickles who's probably going to poop in my house today.

Life is wild and crazy.

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One more note...

Fall weather!